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I Am Getting Ready To Serve Time In A Federal Prison On Probation Violations

I am 31years, I am mother of two boys 2 and 3 years of age. I was recently found quilty in Federal Court for Probation Viloations that I do not agree with!. As my attorney and I feel that I was a singled out by my Federal Probation Officer and vicitmized. up against his years as a FEDERAL P.O, of course I LOST! a ticket that I sent in with payment was the key to all of this!, him visiting my home and asking about the ticket and me responding honestly I sent ticket in with payment and did not remeber the date but he followed me into my officer as I looked at calander on desk and clearly stated "I think it was on the 24th not sure but I had explained didnt have ticket" he new I have ADHD and was not on my meds for having tried 2 mnths earlier to commit sucicide and still he saud okay and left!. he has been very opioonated to my lifestyle, my home, my parenting, my religion and all the while I always told someone my therpist my attorney and he continued to nit pick when I was paying my restituion payments on time reporting online on time, completing my community servcies each week!, going to more then what I was supposed to extensive out paitent therpy sessions 11a mnth to be correct on top of random drugs drops 3 to 4 times a mnth 30 miles away each time and other things I have been doing and kept records of!,. even though itsd appearant to my family and others I been working so hard to get life back on track! my PO just kept adding pressure and bullying me using the scared tactic knowing I already emailed me explaining he scared me!, and I did not like the way he picked on how I spoke and the thigns I say or hwo I do things and that I would never be like him!, and just because he may view me as a job I am a person.
his only response was I know what I am supposed to be doing!.
anyways time went on I came into some back pack money from social security and decided I needed a reliable good car not one that would keep breaking down!, like the one I was currently driving!.
so I bought one I reported like I was suposed to but no that too he was pissed about and why didnt I give that money to my restituion but I was under federal investigation for 3 years unable to work or make money I fell into a hell lot of debt with family and friends anyone that would help with gas diapers food sometimes!, so to me everything was in order and on track all but these old bills and debt so I did what was right and paid back those who did help me and bought myself a car stalked up in the house on diapers wipes shoes for the kids clothes tolietpaper papertowels can goods etc. all so I would never have to struggle the way I did before.
and no of course that P.O was going to have a probelm with this too.. I was ordered to go to court and I was very upset to me I did what I was suppose to help my family abide by what I thought was clear to me community service payments set on reistituion therpy drug drops etc,. no they THE FED SEIZED MY CAR! NOW WITHOUT ONE TO GET TO THERPY DRUG DROPS COMMUNITYS. I had no choice but to rely on rides, I begged everyone and anyone sometimes would be okay to get em sometimes I just couldn't. when I went to court my sister mother mothern law all people who I gave back money were in court for that purpose I said my piece and still LOST but instead of the JUDGE revokinh my probation and imposing my orginal sentence I faced of 3 plus years in prison and 5 years probation is was I was already on, SHE GAVE ME 12MNTHS TO SERVE IN FEDERAL PRISON TOI BE FOLLOWED BY NOTHING! SHE SWAID I WAS DONE WITH PROBATION!!!! to me that was important becuase I feel my PO never would of left me alone.. he was out to get me from the first day he walked in my home! judging and attcking my faith my religion and then more crap later!,
I am now awatiting to serve my time in FEDERAL Prison it will be any day to a week to two eeks before I go and I am home now with my two children trying to hold it together!!! becuase although 12mnth aint a whole lot of time to some and I understand myself it aint the rest of my life, ITS TOO LONG TO BE AWAY FROM MY KIDS, the kids I am with 24hours a day!, THE SAME CHILDREN THAT NEED ME!!! AS MUCH AS I NEED THEM . . . .
IT WILL BE HARD BUT I DO ACCEPT MY SENTENCE AND I AM READY TO GET THIS BEHIND ME, BUT I AM FULL OF FEAR AND WORRIES ALREADY NOT KNOWING IF I WILL HAVE A HOME TO COME HOME TO, OR IF MY KIDS WILL BE TAKEN AWAY FROM ME BY THERE FATHER BECAUSE I AM IN PRISON!, WILL MY CHILDREN GET THERE MEALS AND DIAPERS CHANGED, MEDICINE OR BATHS SAFELTY!!, SO MANY WORRIES AND SO MUCH TO DO SO LITTLE TIME! . . .

THIS IS A PEICE OF MY STORY "I AM GETTING READY TO GO TO PRISON"
chrissyofire chrissyofire 31-35, F 7 Responses Apr 23, 2011

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WOW! Honey, from the little bit i can actually understand, it sounds pretty harsh. You can still try to appeal the ruling, but if not....Use your time wisely, maybe take a few english classes and a writing class or two. After that, you can use your new skills to write to people who could help you get out of the situation you are currently in. Good luck on you!

thanks again for the support! but I still have a long rough road ahead!.... all I can do is never give up or I am dead

I would find some good books to read. And write lots of letters.

I decided against this! because I got a lesser sentence then my orginal sentenced carried and no probation once I complete the 12mnths! other wise it was 5 years supervised probation with my P.O that was a nightmare and before that it was 3 years in federal prison . . . <br />
<br />
THE JUDGE I THINK SEEN ALL MY EFFORT NOT TOO SURE BUT THE SENTENCE SPEAKS FOR ITSELF!..... <br />
I don't have a choice!, but I do accept my time, and just want to start it to get it behind me . . .

Appeal the judgement & defend yourself...

thanks all for showing your support and not making me feel more like the criminal my title holds... <br />
I am so full of fear and today I stared at my kids for hours just trying to think of what I can say that they might understand but came up with nothing!, as I said "ok mama is going to be going bye bye for a little while , my oldest son who is 3 went and grabbed his shoes!, and that made me tear up, and my youngest said no bye bye!, this is the HARDEST THING I EVER HAD TO FACE!!!!! AND I HAVE BEEN RAPED, MOLESTED, BEATEN AND SO MUCH MORE . . . THIS KNOWNING I WILL NOT TOUCH KISS HUG FEED CHANGE MY SONS DIAPERS, MAKE THERE BOTTLE TUCK THEM INTO BED! JUST WATCHING THEM BE THEM . . . F!#@!@# HURTS

Yes I agree with Wunderfrau and might I add;<br />
Children will be ok. Think positive no matter what. Try not to be angry. Your kids are healthy you will see them full time again. Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. You can.