I've Had Enough

im almost 44 years old. ive been drinking since i was 12. its cost me 2 marraiges and 2 lovely kids. 1 is 17 and going the way i did, have?. the other is almost 7. dont see her cause i may or may not hurt her mum. cant remember. pissed. police said i didnt. cant remember. i think i can cope and drink normaly. lying 2 u and myself. i,ve done aa but it,s not 4 me.

i,ve been violent wen im drinking. wen my mum died my main thought was god i need a drink! i left the funeral 2 go 2 the pub! how ****** is that? i,ll never 4give myself 4 that. i can go days or weeks sober as im a professional driver wen i drink, i dont stop. ADVICE pls. how do u stop drinking and stay off it?

a28a a28a
41-45, M
3 Responses Mar 14, 2010

thanx 4 the advice. aa really is not 4 me. tired it again but cant take the higher power ****. they all talk bout wot it was like, they seem 2 miss it to much. i managed 3 weeks, then sum minor problem and i know i'l ave a drink!!!!!!!. stupid or wot?. i have now taken up walking!! i avoid pubs and go to tea shops! love cake and tea. or anything with cream!! i realise that if i want to see my daughter and sort my son out i ave to be sober. teatotal dont mean no fun. it can mean a better life, happy and with no shame or guilt. i've been lying and devious for more than half my life. god i've been a ****. prison. homeless, ive done it. wen i had my first drink i knew i'd found a life long friend. i felt great, even hangovers and puke on me made no odds. i **** and pissed myself. next drink and i 4got bout it. i was home and happy. wot a waste of over 30 YEARS. <br />
im 44 in may. first got drunk in 77. im going to go alcohol free. i will do it. thanx 4 your comments.

You will do it . I'm about the same age, I've decided "never again" although I know it sounds a bit puritanical to some people. But I think it's surely time to find fun in other ways, like a new hobby, exercise ( one that you really enjoy for me swimming ), your cream teas, conversation, sleep, and dreaming big, rather than going for the lowest and most over-glamourised form of high, booze. Re-design yourself, yeah !

The only somewhat sure way I know is AA. I know, I hate it too. And I hate the lovey-dovey, the stern, good advice, ****. And even it's not sure. I've learned from my years of forced AA though. I keep myself too busy and tired to even think about drinking. But I still do. <br />
I don't have your years of drinking experience. I only got about twenty, and it didn't ramp up until I was twenty, so, I got maybe twelve, with weekends for the other ten. I'm 32. I still drink, and can't see stopping anytime soon. ****, I'm drinking right now. Cheap ****** beer I nonetheless love ( Sounds good doesn't it?). <br />
You want my advice? I'll tell you, and it sort of explains why I'm not ready to quit yet. If you are going to quit, just ******* do it. I don't feel I can stick with it. So, it has to become the single most important thing in your life, not drinking, staying sober. You'll also have to quit any narcotic drugs you do. It helps. Pick up some new habits. Start knitting or something, cage-fighting, I don't know. Do what you have too. Just know, you are going to be one mean *****. Until you change how you think. And AA just might help. If the niceness and religion don't help, try going to meetings in the inner city. There's some real **** there. Good luck, hope you make it.

Get help. One day at a time is how most of us do it?...DD