Do you ever look around, and wonder how some people are still alive? I mean, I'm not a bigit or anything. I'm not unkind. At least I think I'm not unkind. And generally I'm pretty empathetic. I just wonder looking at people sometimes, what is their purpose, why are they here? Then I start to wonder why any of us are here, and do we really make a difference? So every single day that I can, I work as hard as I can. I spend 30% more time at work than any of my peers, often leaving at 9 PM, just because I don't want to make a mistake on my patient notes, I don't want to miss a diagnosis, and I want to be able to sleep at night when I go home knowing I did the best I could. In the long run, I don't really think any of it matters.
Wolson Wolson
36-40, F
5 Responses Aug 23, 2014

Then think about that huge universe and what difference you made out of it all. But I guess it takes millions of grains of sand to make a desert.

I don't think anything matters either. Some people use religion to put a meaning to life, and maybe one of those religions is right. But, in the end, we can't prove whether life has meaning or not; so it would seem our opinions are meaningless. Damn, that got me nowhere; but it isn't like there is anywhere to go anyways. Suppose we just have to wait and see.

I can think back to my teenage years and think of some of the crazy daredevil stuff I did, whether it was inside of a car or not, and I can only shake my head in wonder that I made it through some of those things. Young, dumb and that other thing too. :)

I've firmly believed for a long time that each of us has a date in book somewhere. We can't do anything to change it. If it's not your time it's not your time. That is the only explanation I can give for how some babies die really young, how some kids deal with cancer and how some live to be 100.

Think about being on your death bed. What would you regret having not done. Now, go out and do that. I don't think staying late every day would be that regret. Still, you do important work, so that's in your favor.

I know how you feel. I understand. You aren't in this alone