Where Did Everybody Go????I am losing my mind, I really believe I am. Everything has gone wrong, I can't find anybody. I',m a babyboomer who realizes she's wasted her life, and
even tho I'm marrired, with one just grown son, I am all alone. All they do is control me. I don't understand how the whole freaking world was passing me by
and I did not know it.
A few here know me.
To everyone else I've been stressed to the max and have not been here for a while. The ADHD is the most hateful thing I found out about myself and I wish
I'd never gotten treated for it and realized what a miserble person I am.
I had a life a long time ago. I did a lot of stuff. I had fun. I looked good (not anymore).
F___ the past to now and it's been a real killer. I'm in the now and have no friends, family (not counting hubby and son) I can't think straight , I would just off myself but I'm alreaddy in a big enouh Hell, I don't want to go to God's Hell But the world has let me down, I'm a fool. I can't remember what to do.
I never did learn to navigate this ep site back when I hung around. Now I'm lost.
I keep screwing up my pc because I have short attention span and tend to think about too much to grip anythingthing that enters my head. I'm impatient.
I am NOT stupid, have high IG but I can't gather my thoughts long enough to get organized.
Besides, even though I did not know it was happening, I could wing and people would not notice.
I can't keep up the facade, Ive known that a while but am just now accepting it, and not very well. I know damn well I'm a good woman who has done good for many and have been the most naive,and used person , that I can't take it.
I'm not alone in the world suffering this way, I'm very aware of this! But I'm in a bad way this very moment and have no one who I can talk to. I do not have one person I could call.
My husband's upstairs asleep and acts like he does not know my problem but that's because he wants to own me.
Now I'm not young (if I tried I could look decent, but I just can't make myself do it) I never leave the house and pay attention to myself hit or miss.
We have money but whooppee ****. I helped us get there., despite my shortcomings. I just have'nt in a long time.
We totally support son (well I don't, my hubby does) and NOW pay child support Plus all the son and livein needs(his woman who kids belong to)
They do nothing. Its been for a long time. They have house, cars, brains, but dumb me obviously lost hers because she lets it happen. I have no access to our money,have nowhere to go, and over the years I did not realize how withdrawn I was so I don't know anything about my own home.
I do know my husband and son boss me around, and I don't understand, I'm a mega ***** if fooled with but they can walk all over me. I'm aware that like
the ep site, I don't know jack about this computer I'm on. I do but I forget I write it down but lose it. My brain is suffering from atrophy and it seems more hopeless every day. I'm forever screwing up my computer, and get in trouble I have a 1999 Volvo. with 27000 miles on it. It still smells like new leather inside. I went in and paid
$ 47,000 dollars on the spot for it. I was still functioning. (I could do that then, I dont know if we have much money any more.) buying the car.
I keep messing up more and it ****** me off but makes me cry too.
Oh if anybody reads this they won't know what I'm talking about so .,........I started this because I feel like I will explode . I'm all too real and I need help.
I need to get in my car and just take off. I have American Express and drivers licensce I have not driven in abou 5 years but in this state as you get older you don't have to renew so often. I have so much in my head, I scared I'm lonely' I'm mad. I Used to know what to do.
Oh this is a waste of time and I'm already impatient with writing it so I will just stop. I'm tired. Life sucks and then you die.