Overmedicated And Pissed

The idea seemed to be to add more meds, and change some randomly, if they didn't work. After being put in lithium put me in such a haze I almost lost my job, I started getting angry. I told my shrink that there was no way either of us could know what these things were doing. I felt like a woman whose hair had been dyed so many times she didn't know her real color.

I decided that the only way to find out was to take me off everything. He has switched me from lithium to ziprasodone, so that went first. Even with tapering, it put me into full withdrawal when I went off it. Now I'm tapering citalopram (an SSRI) which should be gone in a couple of weeks, then bupropion and lamotrigine.

This can cause some nasty mood swings, and my self-esteem gets pretty low sometimes. Don't let anyone tell you these things aren't addictive. When one is put on them, there often isn't an exit strategy, and I'm not staying on them for the rest of my life. It's kind of like botox for the brain. It might help with certain problems, but I find they cause a certain numbness. I'd rather have all my feelings, even if they hurt. Now I just want to learn non-medical ways of coping with them. So far, yoga helps. I'm also looking into affirmations, we'll see. Taking charge of this is empowering but a bit scary, and I'm glad I have a few friends who understand (especially the one who called me the day I was in withdrawal). I'm going to beat this.
davedaddykh1 davedaddykh1
51-55, M
3 Responses May 24, 2012

An update: I've been off all meds for a few months now. It took a while to get them all out of my system, but I'm ok. I have been accused of being a little more short-tempered than I used to be, though.

We never really "clicked", so I found a therapist who I'll keep after I get off the meds (only one to go at this point). He mostly just managed my meds.

Did your shrink actually talk to you about your problems, or just strictly manage your medications? I went to a psychiatrist for several times once, but as far as talking to me, each time I went in, she simply asked me a series of questions to which I would respond on a scale of 1 to 10. It's not as if she ever tried to get inside my head. Plus, she was as cold as ice. So, I never went back. I just get my meds from my primary care doctor.