It's my first and only love that left me because I still needed a 2-3 years to finish studying before getting ready for marriage.

We were together for 4 years and she decided to leave because she wanted to get married with any good guy coming asking her hand from her parents that is ready to establish a family.

It's unfair that she leaves me while she's still in love with me. She even said that she loves me on the last phone call.... Why would she do this while she's at the age of 21? I'ts been only 8 months since she left me and I'm still attached to her. I still think about her every night.

She said we could be friends on the day she broke up with me, but I just couldn't accept that. It's gonna gut me to see her get attracted to another guy or a guy hits on her. I had to delete her pics, throw away her gifts, and delete her number.. Even the engagement party folder </3.... But I still dream about her. Happy dreams. I wake up smiling only to break down to know it was just a dream... I still desire her as my future wife and she's my first love. I can't imagine my life without her. She's my first and my last.

I'm a mess and I'm madly in love with her. I sometimes get anxiety and end up staying until dawn, only to sleep a few hours before heading out to university/work. I can't withstand the pain I feel in my heart and I feel it ripping apart with every night I spend thinking about her... about why she left, about what if she got taken, about what if we could return.

I have been called pathetic by my friends and family and they are all against the notion of returning to her since she doesn't appreciate me. But what can I do? It's the only fight that my mind lost to my heart....
nashqua nashqua
26-30, M
1 Response Aug 19, 2014

It's her loss.. man up!
God is saving better things in future. . cheer up!
I know it hurts at first.. but u'll laugh and joke about it in the very near future.