I Feel So Stupid

My ex husband hurt me a lot just recently, and I cant really understand why. When I am in love I love that person so completely that It never really ever goes away I guess. There was a little inside joke he and I had, and I made rerference to it, and he acted all suprised and acted like he had no idea what I was talking about. I guess I shouldnt be surpised, why would he want to make inside jokes as if we were together? But at the same time it made me feel like all 6 years of our life together was forgetable, like it didnt even matter. Just because our marriage didn't work out the way we wanted, doesn't mean I don't cherish the good times we had. He was my best friend. Many times I wish I had never left him, so I force myself to remember the bad things. But in retrospect, the bad things don't seem all that bad now. Then when I think that I mentally kick myself. I feel so conflicted...
MaliceMei MaliceMei
31-35, F
3 Responses Sep 21, 2012

I think that there will be some type of relationship as there are the children in common... cannot really ever cut ties... Kids are wonderful and perhaps represent the one thing we did together well... They say time heals... just putting in my time in the meantime...

Thanks you 2, what both of you said was what i needed to hear...or read. Haha

The best reframing I've heard of is that I could consider my marriage or more specifically the intimate relationship I used to have a chapter in a book - the chapter is still there but I am living in another chapter. When there are children involved, it means that there is never a total break (or I guess I should say if at all possible for the kids' sake) but I continue to believe that there is a person for everyone out there and maybe that is what life is all about finding that special someone at some point in life... maybe when we least expect it.