I have been with the same man for 25 years. I thought we had a good marriage. He had an affair with a close friend of mine and despite me forgiving him he wants a divorce. I still love him and the life we had. I cannot believe how I can go from feeling a little ok to so low in the span of a day. Looking for help from others who are going through this!!!!
hera2014 hera2014
41-45, F
3 Responses Aug 31, 2014

I'm wanting a divorce but I'm too afraid to do it....

Are you sure.... It's an awful thing to go through....

once the pain of living in this situation gets worse than the fear I guess I go

I also just found out my husband of 10 years has been having an emotional affair for a while that recently became physical. He says he's done with our marriage. I am devestated and in shock. I cry all the time from the moment I open my eyes. It is the most painful thing. He is so cold and distant not the man I knew. I honestly would forgive him if he was willing to work on it but he is not. I feel so lost. I also love him do much but it doesn't matter to him. I feel pathetic still wanting us but I do for now. He is moving out Sunday. We still haven't told our 3 kids. This sucks.

I hear you so loud and clear! You are living my life. It is by far the most painful thing I have ever experienced. It is so emotionally taxing I was in physical pain. It has been 7 weeks since mine moved out and today was the first day I have not cried. I am starting to think I will be ok and you will too but the road ahead is rough:(

We also have 3 children. Ages 14, 12 7. They are ok but are having a hard time accepting and understanding why he left.

Mine are 13 8 and 1.5. I just wAnt him out so I can start healing on one hand but I am so afraid if the day he does because that means this is really happening. This all has come about in the last week.

It's still so early for you. Mine went back and forth for 7 months before he gave up on us. That was horrible because it prevented me from the healing process. He kept giving me hope then pulling the rug from under me. This time however I know in my heart it's over and yes, it's very scary:(

I hope it doesn't last that long. He has given me tiny bits if hope but I think it's just manipulation even though I pray that it is not. I have poured my heart out. He knows where I stand. If he chooses to still leave I know I will be ok in time. Maybe a long time but I have seen others make it through this.

2 More Responses

I wonder if the behaviour that would allow you to forgive him for that is the same behaviour that could push him away? Could be way out in left field, just a thought. Wishing you the best. Including a man and friends that aren't willing to treat you so poorly.

I think he needed a change!