Divorced After 26 Years!

After 26 years of marriage I have decided that I can no longer live the way that I have been living. I deserve better than what I have been getting! My marriage has actually been over for quite a few years now but I kept trying to fix it to my detriment. I am a very loyal person and my marriage vows meant something to me. I loved my husband (and still do) but it's time to take care of myself now. I have three beautiful children who are very supportive of my situation. I moved out this week and it feels so good! I have come to realize through this, that I am stronger than I thought I was and I am going to get through this just fine.

nanajan nanajan
41-45, F
3 Responses Jul 11, 2009

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I am 53 and soon to be separated. My husband and I have had problems in our relationship for years. Moreover, I have been fighting cancer and depression for the last 4-5 years. In the meantime, my husband accumulated debts and it got to that point where I discovered we are losing our house. I am not working anymore. I am disabled, half deaf and still coping with the last surgery- Whipple- which is very hard. I certainly didnt want our life to go on as it was: financial irresponsibility, lack of communication and huge fights. All that in addition to my sudden illnesses and depression. I used to be a successful teacher, excellent student, had my BA and MA with honors, etc. I had a life full. Now I can no longer work, can hardly walk or hear. I cant find what to do with my life anymore and am devastated that my husband just wants a separation without even trying therapy. (We once tried it but he stopped believing in it so we did nothing about our relationship despite my constant plights).<br />
I feel sad and scared. He is my 2nd husband. We have been married for 23 years. I was happy to divorce my first husband whom I married at 19. It was a bad marriage.Really bad.<br />
What is sad is that my husband and I still have some love for each other. He says we will always be friends and he takes me to every dr appointment, hospital checkup etc. <br />
I feel as if he does not want to fight for our relationship, for our marriage. He says there's no way he sees it can get better so we just have to separate. We first have to sell the house, return debts and with what remains, find a suitable place for me (I'm handicapped).<br />
It feels as if I am a failure, as if nothing awaits for me, there is no future for a 53 year old invalid like me......I know it sounds depressing, but thats how I feel.

wow your story brought tears to my eyes I am a strng believer in marriage and vows unfourtnatlly my marriage failed. i feel your husband should be more supportive love is such a great bond , but to walk away from you in your time of need is a little selfish. I hope one day I can be a strong as you dont be depress you have lived a beautiful life and will continue dont let your disablity make you less f a women, you are beautiful and I do not know you. I am trying to find answers my self to my relationship but hey there is a great God who will always be there hang in there because if your husband doesnt believe me a great God is by your side .

Thank you! I finally got the courage to make the decision and I am so happy that I did. I know it's going to be rough for a little while but I will make it through. I have a great life ahead of me I know it!

hang in there, i know it hurts but hey you have only 1 life and you cant live it sad, there comes a time where you have to move one and be proud that you had the strength to do it.