My Whole World Was Turned Upside Down...

A little over a year ago was the most traumatic, worst day of my life. Something terrible happened. It blew my mind, and screwed with my personality. Changed my perspective on life. I still can't talk about it, not even on here, where I am for the most part, anonymous.

It only makes me angry, when people tell me they understand. Because they don't. They never could. And then I feel ashamed, for being angry. They're just trying to help, trying to make me feel better. And then I feel angry for being needy, and ashamed for seeming whiny. I want to make friends on here, but I'm worried that I'll come off as whiny or "emo" or the opposite, cold and a *****. A *lot* of people I've met over the internet over the years seem to dislike me for being "uncaring". I don't understand that at all, that's not me at all, why do they think that? I guess I come off as a little harsh? It's so hard to project your personality over the net, and I'm not even great at social stuff in RL.

I miss being carefree and happy. I don't want to be so glum and sad all the time. I used to be so fun. Now I can barely stand to leave the house. I just want...some understanding. Not for people to tell me they understand, for them to ACTUALLY get it. I'm going through a tough time. I just want some friends who won't care. Who won't judge me. Who'll talk to me, and actually care about me and the things I have to say. Am I that hard to like?

Damn, even the first and only comment so far on my "Read this before adding me to your circle" story was someone saying they didn't like what they saw and not to add them. W.T.F?! I never asked to add you. I never asked you comment. I understand that sometime people don't get along, or just don't like other people, but why doesn't anyone give me a chance? Do I just radiate pure evil or something? Is it just because I'm struggling lately? What is it, please, someone freakin' tell me!
WhateverFace WhateverFace
1 Response Jan 17, 2013

Honestly know one can know how your feeling or even understand what your going thru. unless they are in your shoes walking your path. its your path to walk, no one elses. i am a god fearing man i beleive that only he can judge you and anyone else who judges is not worth your time.
And I am here to hear you if you ever want to talk.
i bet you will get responses to this, cause everyone everywhere is going thru something. they can only advise you on what they would do in their own shoes not in your shoes.
be happy life gets tougher. talk to someone and let them know what you feel why your angry

i know you have thats why it hurts so much. try talking to the right person just keep talking until you find that person/persons who will listen and hope they can understand