I Am So Confused...

My (ex)girlfriend and I have been going out and in love for about 3.5 years.  we are now both in college and tasting freedom and independence.  She has been my one and only girlfriend and I love her to death.  I can easily see myself spending the rest of my life with her.  the problem is that because i have never really experienced another relationship, she wanted to break up for a while to give me a chance to meet new people.  i dont really have much of a social life apart from her because of work and school.   i guess this made me too dependant on her and she just wanted a break.  at the time i understood what she was talking about and i agreed to break up and hopefully we will get back together in the summer.  i miss her so much and i feel like there is a constant empty spot in my heart without her.  we still talk to eachother as best friends but its just not the same.  it has only been 2.5 weeks and she is dating another guy.  even though we arent really together anymore, i feel like im losing a part of myself when she is with another guy.  i dont know how im supposed to think or feel.  was i stupid for agreeing to break up?

lostNlonely lostNlonely
18-21, M
11 Responses Mar 12, 2008

She was just using you. Move on and meet new people and hopefully somebody will love you and not cheat on you. Then show her that if she wants to move on so can you. Show her whos boss!

And making sure no one else will have you.

From a female's perspective, she is using you. Because she knows that you love her and can't move on she finds another to play with. If she really
loved you, she will be more territorial as all men and women are created to be possessive of eachother once in love. The way she is approaching this is a way to keep you there for her when she needs you. Keeping in touch to keep you emotionally strap onto her. It's not nice to play with emotions cuz it hurts and you don't have a dose of medications to take care of that. Females can be very manipulative and males fall for that all the time cuz they don't know how else to express their emotions. I hope you really give her the middle finger and get a move on with your life even though you care and love. True love is mutual and it generally is possessive. I don't mean control but if someone loves you they make sure no one else will mess with their man and they are always on top of that. Not be messing around

i think you should do the same thing... u should meet new people just like her, and if she doesen't cares then she doesen't loves you as much as you do....dont feel bad about it at all

I'm in a similar situation, I would say take the time for what its worth at least after the experience if you all are still in love then you know it's unbreakable. That's just my opinion/hope though. Try stepping out of your comfort zone if you don't like it see previous sentence. My ex fiance has done the same thing.

shes a dishonest girl who likes attention and is dragging you along. she doesnt love you the way you love her. cut all ties with her and move on. its a lesson learned...you are.young and working towards your future, youre honest, faithful and capable of loving strong...she will regret it but by then hopefully you will be over her. best wishes. keep your head up

in all honesty, i agree with heregoes. she left you, and used "you need to see other people" as an excuse for HER to see other people. which was a cheap thing for her to do, move on from her, and please stop contacting her, shes wrapping you around her finger, and you're not even resisting being treated that way ):. say you need to remove contact so you can heal from this, and that you understand she wants to see other people but she shouldn't have said it was for your sake!!

You never really had a choice in it, she's just not into you anymore, sorry.

i feel like I am in a similar situation. I know it is a good idea to break up with the guy I'm with (he cheated on me for months, and we constantly argue) but the thought of him going is so scary and surreal. I just don't know how to get through the days without him here. He always seems to be on the verge of leaving- and I'm a nervous wreck all the time. I dream about him, and think about him constantly. I just really hope everything will get better for both of us. I wish I had more of an answer or advice to give you, but I feel just as lost.

Hey there...<br />
I know you posted a long time ago, but I am in the exact same situation as you!! You probably don't even use this site anymore.... Anyways, I am 18 years old and I have been in a serious, loving, and committed relationship with the love of my life since I was 15.... and before that I had never been in any serious relationahips, I saw no need. But for the record I did date, several boys, but there was no feeling! <br />
Until I met him.<br />
He is almost 3 years older than me but that isn't the problem... And he had three or four serious girlfriends before me, but he told me he never really loved them. <br />
Anyways, I am an extremely open minded person when it comes to basically anything, but I truly believe that the love I have for this man is so big that I could never have these feelings again with anyone else. I know the feeling I get with him, and I have never had such a connection with any other guy I have ever met. So sorry if something is wrong with me for just wanting to love this man forever!! <br />
I started going to the same college as he, but I am a freshman, and he is a sophomore (it's a 2 year...) he will finish this semester and then transfer to a college about 7 hours away. <br />
He broke up with me 6 days ago saying the same thing as your ex.. about independence and adventure... that this will be a beneficial time for me to see if i really love him, and at the same time for me to meet new people..... and for him to experience independence, not having to think about someone else. but he tells me he loves me. I feel soooo dead. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I don't know if I should fight for the feeling in my heart, or allow him to let go for the sake of his want to feel independence and "self-growth". <br />
He gave me the most beautiful turquoise ring while he was breaking up with me and told me that he loves me so much and will forever, and that the ring symbolizes that. If we love eachother so insanely much, why the hell do we have to break up?! I am losing my mind with the hours of thinking about him each day. And he tells me he wants to be my best friend through this, and that the most important thing during this time is that we talk and stay in touch. <br />
I feel like he is abandoning our love, shattering my heart, and getting away safely! <br />
He tells me that guys just need a time in their lives to grow up and become men, and that I can't be there for that. I can see right through this, and I tell him so.... but he denies and reassures me that our love will prevail through this time. He has never lied to me before so I have to believe him. And he truly does love me. ****, I just can't figure it out ok?!

No. Shes the only girl you have ever had and thats no good.l You should meet other people and make new friends. Variety is the spice of life. try all the different kinds before you choose. Yes you miss her alot because shes the only one you have thats why. I dont believe your girlfriend will be back in the summer. She may have wanted to experiment herself thats why she came up with this idea. Your to gullible, shes real smart and you believe it? Dont.