Feel Like Dying.

My boyfriend broke up with me for about the fiftieth time in two years.  But this time, he hasnt contacted me for a week.  I feel like ****, obviously.  He used to be emotionally abusive, but its gotten better.  I just emailed him asking for reconciliation which I am now immediately regretting.  I look like an idiot, and my crying and grovelling isnt doing me any good.  I just feel like crap, and he is probably just fine with his two new jobs, new car, and vacation.  I want to be that happy, independent woman, but somehow I feel lost without him.  Its beyond unhealthy, I know.  But I just dont know what to do.  There is a gaping hole in my heart, and I havent found anything to fill it.  Everything hurts.  I hate feeling so disgustingly weak.  I try to appear happy, but really im just a big ball of negative energy.
supercarolinexd supercarolinexd
18-21
May 17, 2012