The Proper Timing Of "let Her Go And If She Comes Back..."

Don't do it right when she breaks up with you.

I had saved my 6-year relationship quite a few times before, but she never "broke up" with me. When it finally happened, I lightly tried to save it, but mostly felt that it was best to give her space to clear her head. It did eventually clear, but she didn't come back; she went out with another dude!

So, now that I'm actively trying to save it, she wants space. She told me that if I had done then what I'm doing now, we'd have gotten back together. Clearly, I had the timing reversed.

The whole "let her go and if she comes back it was meant to be" thing probably does work, but it must be timed right.

We'll see what happens, but I'm losing hope.
deleted deleted
2 Responses May 25, 2012

It isn't fair for her to string you along, if that is what she is doing. However, if she isn't that type of person maybe she is just extremely confused. <br />
You say that you have saved the relationship more that once. I am wondering the reasoning behind this. Possibly, she was just scared and unsure if the relationship would last. That doesn't make it right for her to keep leaving though. <br />
I am sure she will consider things this week and you will hopefully know by then.

Relationships take time and effort on both parties. I hope that you both are able to work together as a unit, if she ends up picking you.
No one is a perfect person.. and both parties have to realize that and try to work together. But, by her leaving you constantly is not the answer and by you unable to work on certain things in the relationship is also not the answer.

Hope all goes well.

NO. do NOT allow this woman to mess with your mind that way, how cruel! you kept having to save the relationship because she wasnt willing to put any effort in! it shouldnt have to be that way! sh**. you should both have been putting in that much effort, not you! she shouldve been honest with herself and you and realized, it was HER choice to leave you. and if she really was in love with you, YES, she would come back. think of it this way, let's say you really want to eat a bar of chocolate, but you're overweight. you'll reason out eating the chocolate, because you like it. the same applies to love, she wouldve grasped ANY reasoning to come back to you, if that was what she wanted. but she DIDNT want you anymore, and she wasnt even honest about it. cut contact with her, explain your reasoning calmly and in a caring manner, and start to heal, so you can be open to someone will put in as much effort as you put in! who will love you back the way you love! you deserve it!!

you were who you were, im sure that probably means when it comes to yourself, you normally work to solve your own problems in cold solutions instead of emotions. thats not a bad thing, you are who you are and quit blaming yourself. you did what you thought was the right thing. and the fact you didnt even notice it before, means it either wasnt that big of a deal OR she wasnt even willing to talk with you about it or work it out with you!! either way, at this stage of the game, see even if you WERE "cold", you still put in your everything. and she is done putting effort in, its time to stop blaming yourself dude, if some random online person can see you have no reason to blame yourself in this kind of way, maybe that should tell you something

look either way, if it is meant to be, she'll work up the ability to work it out with you, if she cannot, it means she really doesnt have the ability to be in love with you in the way you deserve, and she doesnt have the ability to look at you and work up the ability to work it out like she would be able to with someone she could see her life forming with in the long run. and that'll make both you and her unhappy, if that kind of relationship was pursued.