I Don't Know If I Will Every Get Through This And Be Happy Again.

Where do I start? I will try to make my long story a short one. 7 years ago I met Chris, it was an instance, quick, fast connection. We were together everyday from the day we met. It was so new, fresh, exciting, and I was happy. About a month into the relationship, he let me know that he was going away for a few weeks for job training to become an over the road truck driver. I was shocked because I would not be seeing him as often. I guess that is where the co-dependancy started. I loved that we were together when we wanted, and then out of the blue, it would be a once or twice a month, technically long distance relationship. We managed, but I had my days and doubts, which I told him about. I, at that point, could not handle him being gone. So after 4 months of working over the road, he suggested we start our own trucking company. Granted, I already had an awesome 9-5 job, which paid very well, but I loved him and agreed. What I basically agreed to was me working 2 full time jobs. I was so stressed out. I did everything he every wanted. Whatever his dreams were, I made them come true. However, I was compromising my happiness. I hated the company from day one. I hated that it took away all my free time. I hate that I worked basically 24/7. I hated that our new relationship had turned into a business partner relationship.
On a side note, he told me he loved me after 5 weeks. My original reponse was laughter, only because I was warned by all his friends and family that he falls quickly for every girl, and he even lived with about 8 girls before me, so my guard was always up. I did love him, but I never said it until I was 100% sure, and that was months and months later.
So after a few years of me working F/T and running the business, the relationship started to take it's toll. He is very impulsive and never thinks things through. I on the other hand am a planner and thinker. Everytime he would come up with an idea it drove me crazy becuase he was always coming up with these ideas, to fast, to soon, just like our relationship. He loves instant gratification, and I believe you work hard for what you deserve.
Throughout this relationship, I would ask him about marriage, although not often. I guess I was scared of his answer. About 3 years into the relationship/business partner arrangement (which i hated!!!) I became pregnant with our 3 year son. Things could not have gotten worse. Here, I was in love with this man who I was completely co-dependant on, wouldn't even talk about marriage, impulsive ADD,etc and I was pregnant. So that is where my deep depression started. No marriage, rarely any affecion, constant critizism from both of us. I was alway bitter or mad about something. That something was that he didn't want to marry me. Throughout our 7 years together, I had kicked him out of the house 4 times. It started 8 months into the beginning of the relationship, and continued on. I alwasy felt used by him, unloved, even though he tried, I don't think he knows how to be emotional. He constantly blew me off at the last minute for events, or simply tell me he didn't feel like going. I guess I was trying to love him enough that he would feel it and change for me. I hate that I became to miserable, depressed, bitter, but looking back, how could I keep a happy face knowing.
We broke up 3 months ago, and I can say that for about a year before that, I started to be happy again. I started to take care of myself, my baby depression had gone away, I was confident again. Then out of the blue, he started to treat me like crap again, saying mean to hurt me. So I went through his phone, which I never do, and found text messages from several ex-girlfriends. As harmless as they were, this was the exact reason i kicked him out the year before. I didn't trust him then, and he promised nothing would happen. I am pretty confident he never cheated, but the texting and lying behind my back really gets to me.
As the story goes on, when I kicked him out 3 months ago, I thought it would be a wake up call for him, to think about what he wants to do, fix the relationship, finances, etc. So instead, he found a relationship 1 week later, and then got married (eloped) in Vegas 6 weeks after that. Are you kidding me!!!! We have a 3 year old son, a failing business, we live in his mom's 3 flat, shared bank accounts, friends, family, etc. and he gets married after knowing this girl for 6 weeks! Nobody knew about it and nobody met her either!!!! He is 37, and she is a russian student here on her Visa and she is 24! they only hung out together on weekends, is that true love?
So now I am sitting here, taking care of our son, dissolving the business, taking care of the house, finances and myself. Some days I don't even want to get out of bed, but I have to for my son. He is wonderful and my world, and his father would rather be out living his mid-life crisis instead of taking care of business. I have never been so devasted, angry, hurt and depressed in my whole life! I know time will heal all wounds, but I am 36, single-mom, all friends are married with their own problems. What do i do??
Oh, and shortly after the breakup, he wanted to be friends with me, and wanted to tell me all about his new relationship, how he cared for me and our son, etc. I told him no way, i don't want to hear about your new girlfriend. He even cried about 5 times, kept coming by the house, we would have these 2-4 hour long conversations, and then gets married the next week? What the hell!!!
deleted deleted
1 Response Nov 28, 2012

I got a good response for this one....I'm going through similar issues with my boyfriend as we speak but instead we don't have any kids. To be honest I am not a person to put blinders over my eyes but it's more like don't say anything to him. If he found a female within a week of breaking up, he was cheating on you from the get go or either he did it to make you jealous. If you go to my confessions on my profile and read the one about REVENGE. I'm not encouraging it but there are some real men who are willing to put the work in. I can relate to you because I'm unhappy with my boyfriend/ex-boyfriend( really don't know) because he wanted to be friends with me. What I can say is I am kinda in the same portal hole your in and I have feelings for my ex-boyfriend....I really don't have any advice but if you find someone who does have advice please please message me I would like to get some incite also :-) don't let him win the battle don't show him that your upset that he has a new girlfriend, don't show him, period ,that your upset because that means he won the battle and it also let him know that he can control your mind and that is number one rule for women (Have your own mind and do what you want despite the bull---- that is going on with that jerk.)

What my brother usually tell me is, its all about the breed of dogs we choose and it's all about how you train them. Don't let this man control your mind, I mean it is only natural for you to feel like your spirit is crush. Only because YOU thought he was someone he wasn't and he lead you to believe that. When I'm thinking of my ex, I become this crazy psycho female to the point where I'm sitting in front of his house in 2-3:00 in the am watching to see if another female walk out the door but while Im sitting there I start to think why am I allowing him to pull me out my square?. What I do is mingle and meet new people. Let him know that regardless if he's there or not, your going to continue to do what you want without caring about his feelings because....remember your not together. You shouldn't let that jerk dictate your mood and your moves.

I mean dont be immature about the situation but get out meet new friends( not w/ benefits) lol You can be friends with the opposite sex and without the sex. That speacial one is out there just be a little patient, he will come. Don't let this guy kill your spirit because theres alot of fish in the sea, so dont let one bad fish change your thinking process. You can only learn from it.