Break Up!

I been dating my boyfriend, it would of been 11 months today. But i met him this month on the 18 last year. When I first met him, we both felt that we were right for each other, it was basically love at first site. We have crazy chemistry, and can talk about any and everything. I can always hear him say " I found my angel, I can stop looking, I love you soo much, you're gonna be the one that I marry!" I always believed him. My mom always told me that when you feel that you have met the guy for you, that he's heaven sent, then you should start the relationship off right. What she means by that is, that you have to put everything on the table, open and honest because it would turn out worse if he heard it through the grapevine. So, 2 weeks into dating I told him the person that I was before, I'm not ashamed of what I did but I am, because the past is tha past you either learn from it and move on or you just wallow in your mistakes.. so three months before we were dating I had a ********* with a couple guys that I've known for years, it was an experiment for me. I told my boyfriend about it, at first he was shocked but then he said thats what you did before me, it's messed up but you're with me now.. So while we've been dating he's been recieving random calls from guys we don't even know, who has been talking mess and calling us names. So, this past Valentines Day night, he broke up with me saying that he can't handle it, he can't deal with my past. At first he could because he was soo much in love wiht me, but the love faded away with time. I asked him why did you let me get emotionally involved with you knowing that you weren't gonna stay with me, his answer was things change. He said that the only reason why he continued to try because he didn't want me to fall in that lifestyle again. So, now I'm left in the cold, with a broken heart, knowing that I let my guard down for a guy he wasn't willing to try with me to make, for a guy who was with me thinking that he could save me, with a guy who looks at what I used to be and not what I am now, in love with a guy still who lead me on to believe that we had a future together, with a guy who doesn't want to date me again but wants to keep me close by as a friend, in love with a guy who's not in love with me. I'm trying to get over him, but the process is very hard because we broke for something that I did before we got together, we broke for non-sense....and i know he was just saying all that so i could not be in love or love him and move on with my life. I know that he still cares, love, and in love with me. His excuses for not being with are, his pride, he's ashamed knowing what I did and other will still know, but it's been a year, he says that it's unacceptable for a woman to do such a thing, it's not lady like, but no matter how society would seperate a man from a woman, if we all do the same thing it's still gonna look the same way. So, if what i did is viewed bad or hoeish like I see a guy in the same manner. If you really a truely want to be with me and love you should be able to deal with the things that I've done just like I would deal with the things that you've done, and he has done some things that are just as crazy. But I just need some advice on if i should keep holding on fight for our love, fight for him, or let him go completely(no friends)? And also I would like to know how you guys would of handles this situation?

DejahLove DejahLove
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 3, 2010

Well... I know you thought you were doing a good thing by putting everything on the table and being honest about your past.... But the past is the past... it really wasn't necessary to talk with him about it. I don't talk about my past encounters or relationships with my partner. Why would I...? It only stirs up ****.. that I wanna leave behind. When it comes to that kind of stuff... "some things are better left unsaid" Now, your right if he had a problem with it, he should of told you sooner "before you got emotionally involved.... He definitely shouldn't of led you on... into thinking you were going to have a future..and he was ok with it. If he really loved you... it's something you could have worked passed... <br />
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I don't like to hear about past relationship/encounters..... The person I'm with knows better than to bring up her sexual and relationship past.... I don't wanna hear it... it makes me sick to think about... It doesn't matter if it was the past... it does no good to talk about... I know you were trying to be honest... but there are somethings that don't need re-hashed.... Because someone that loves you doesn't want to imagine you with two other guys.... it may be you past but the image you put in his head... would never go away.