Break-up Of A Year And Three Months Over A Really Ridiculous Thing.

Basically I've been in a year and three month relationship which we were happy together although we had our differences.  About a year ago while we were dating an ex-boyfriend of mine who was also my really good friend died of alcohol poisoning and i was  devastated.  I remember the day he died, i was looking through photos all day and my new boyfriend told me to stop looking through pictures or he would leave.  My new boyfriend knew that me and my ex had been close before (even though we never talked about two months prior to meeting my new boyfriend), and he read our old e-mails talking about our relationship and how we loved eachother, but me and my ex never really talked the year he passed away and I was dating the new guy!  After the funeral and everything I did not bring up my ex boyfriend.  A year later which will be one year since he died I mentioned to my new boyfriend that i was going to see friends to be with them for my ex boyfriends one year since he died, and my new boyfriend was just not having it.  He basically said if i go with my friends, its over. He basically made it out as though I wasnt over my ex, or his death, which I am, but its still sad to see someone you once cared about die.  And so i kept my pride and said f-ck you, im going, I dont care.  Really stupid way to end a good thing, but it feels as though it needed to be done.  Basically the point in writing this is to get some feedback from total strangers that arent there to support me and tell me what I want to hear.  I would like to know who is at fault because i see both sides.....

xalibear xalibear
22-25, F
5 Responses Mar 7, 2010

I agree with the boyfriend. Even though he was not tactful on explaining how uncomfortable he was about ur ex. No man wants to watch his current love of his life go on about how close she was with her ex. My opinion if you was so close to him then......you should have stayed with him. You are making the current boyfriend seem like he is 2nd choice. I would have left you too........Just my opinion

I'm very sorry to hear that. It sounds to me like he was an insecure guy. I can relate to that, being somewhat of an insecure guy myself. This was obviously very important to you, though, and he needs to respect that, and try to understand it and accept it, even if he doesn't like it. If he can't do that, then he probably can't be with you. You shouldn't have to be held back because of his insecurities.

You did the right thing! Never let a man tell you what to do. In that situation... it was very uncaring, insecure,,, and just plain wrong on his end. I mean C'mon is he jealous of someone that is no longer here....he should have been more understanding... that you love this man and he was an important part of your life, at one time. It takes nothing away from the separate relationship that you two had together... He'll come back when he realizes what an ******* move that was.

It sounds to me like the guy you were currently dating wasn't right for you...and he knew it. That's more than likely why he acted the way he did. Apparently you knew it too or you wouldn't have told him what you did. It's over now...I wouldn't dwell on it too much, just go forward in life. The right person for you will come along at the right time and in an unexpected way...so don't be in a hurry. When he does...you will know it.

What an insecure jerk! I know you had some good times with this guy but really in the long run after you heal you will be able to find a good guy I hope that understands simple things such as you had a past and he wasn't a part of it. He so should have considered himself lucky to be part of your present and future!