He Said He Didn't Know If He Loved Me Anymore
I have been married for 13 years and have 2 amazing kids. About 8 months ago, my husband told me that he didn't think he loved me anymore. I knew we had been growing apart for awhile, but it took him saying this to realize we needed help. He told me that he didn't feel loved anymore. He said that he didn't think that I needed him or wanted him sexually anymore. He just didn't know if he wanted to be married to me at all. I told him that I still wanted to be married and wanted to get help and make it right again. He did not.
I need to be honest here......I have my own issues. 2 years ago I went through a bout of depression, that was very hard on our family. I have also struggled with my weight over the years, which has affected my self confidence and self image, which in turn has affected our relationship. I have taken accountability for my issues right from the start. I have told him that I want to make this better, whatever it takes.......he does not.
He moved downstairs (we have a suite) a few weeks after his revelation, and has not been back upstairs since. I should also say that I had to ask him to sleep downstairs, he was still sleeping in the bed. I have also asked him repeatedly what he wants, whether he wants a divorce, or to move out or to go to counseling and I continue to get nothing. I continue to get "I don't know." I continue to get "why do I need to go to counseling?".
So here I am today, 8 months later, with a husband that doesn't want to be married anymore, but doesn't want to move out, but still wants to have sex once in awhile, but doesn't have an answer to divorce or selling the house because he says he doesn't know what he wants. I know that he can financially afford to move out, he chooses not too. We are somewhat civil with each other, we don't yell or argue, not in front of the kids if we do.
I don't know what to do anymore. I can't afford to move out and have read that I shouldn't until I speak with a lawyer. I can't afford a lawyer to find out what my next step can or should be and he isn't willing to do anything. I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster everyday and I'm getting quite tired of it. The stress of the situation is making me physically ill and I can feel myself starting to fall into that dreadful fog of depression again.
I don't know what to do or where to turn and I would love some different opinions, outlooks or even advice if anyone has some.