I've Let Go Of You Once, But Twice?

i went through this but only for a day and a night but the pain is still there. is it love that brought us back together? but that was all last month... right now i am so sad, i just cried my eyes out and i don't know what to write anymore... i left cause he repeatedly told me he didn't want to have anything to do with me... i left cause he said he doesn't love me anymore. i left cause i tried for days to have him back again like we usually do... it didn't work. nothing works... that was why i left cause i didn't want to cause him anymore misery...
LovelessAdvocate LovelessAdvocate
22-25, F
6 Responses Jul 11, 2010

walkover, <br />
<br />
if you said i deserve so much more, he would say i deserved nothing.... whatever you say to me, he would say the opposite. i know exactly why i'm still around.... cause i love him with my heart. i can't just leave it at the door.... i tried and i can't.... i want him all the time, not only the time when i start losing out on him. but what's the use if then we'll come back at this episode again.... i'm not so much of a crying person now.... i learned how to calm myself down. but then again, the pain still lingers and those who said we can always choose.... it's not so easy.... but come september.... and i graduate, perhaps that would be best to really open up my heart to another better life, although god only knows how much that is going to hurt me emotionally, mentally.... thanks for your comment.

WHAT you left because YOU didint want to cause HIM any more misery ,, it sounds to me that my god you have had a LOT of misery from him, you sound like u should say to him , F OFF , you sound to me THAT YOU DESERVE BETTER , if he wants nothing to do with you if he if he dosint love you then he dose not DESERVE YOU , so you start getting a back bone ,and get a grip he will NEVER LOVE YOU if you are CRYING and BEGGING him to love you , tell yourself you DESERVE SO MUCH MORE and i do believe you will believe it to , so PLEASE beleive me change yourself get stronge get to see him as he seems to me a SELFISH ARRIGONT ***, and you deserve better AND IF YOU WANT HIM BACK GO THIS WAY AS THE CRYING WINGING WAY NEVER WORKS,, GOOD LUCK AND SORRY IF I SOUND HARSH , X

thanks for the comment.... he can go on without talking to me for a whole week... and i am the one who has to call him up and see how's he doing... the only time he ever told me that he wanted to work things out (which i think was very sweet...) was when i left him but i came back. i can't hate him.... maybe i said that i did... but truth is i love him whole. yes i am hoping to find a new life.... but i still hope we really can put this behind us.... good luck to you too....

lovetilyouhate, <br />
<br />
I'm in a somewhat similar situation. A couple weeks ago we separated for a whole day, until I couldn't take it any longer and called him up in nothing but tears and we decided to try to work through some things.<br />
<br />
I do worry about your name. One of my biggest struggles right now is to *not* hate him, since I know it will consume me from the inside out, and frankly doesn't accomplish anything good. On top of that, it will only draw strength which could be put towards other things, such as changing yourself so that you are happy with who you are. <br />
<br />
I am still trying to save my marriage, but if some things don't change I'm not sure it's possible. <br />
<br />
I hope you find you new life happier than your old.

i do think of my religion but not as much i guess... praying keeps me calm though... but there are times when i give up and i am too sad to pray

do not worry. <br />
I understand you hunny. <br />
<br />
Why don't you change your life, or the way you live. <br />
Why don't you think about your religion for example, and live your life peacefully?<br />
I'm not telling you not to marry or sth, but religion is very important my dear, think roughly about it.