Lover Left, With No Explanation

As madly in love as I am, we were together only for 6 months and I really thought that he was my true soul mate.  We were together almost daily for those 6 months.

He continually talked in terms of the future even introducing me as his future wife to his circle of friends.
The problem is that he decided to end the relationship because his fear of commitment was much greater than his love for me.  To say that I am devastated is an understatement.

I think of him every hour of the day and continually pray that God will bring us back together.  I cry daily from the pain of not seeing him.

I know that there has to be a reason for all of this anguish but I do not know what lesson there is to learn.

I only know that I will love him forever.


mysweetangelbaby mysweetangelbaby
56-60, F
9 Responses Jul 24, 2010

We never dated. We had a professional relationship quite close even intimate, but not physical; and then I was able to get her a little help during her divorce. Once she was single I broached the subject of marriage, but she was not interested. <br />
<br />
But she was everything I ever wanted, down to her lovely long legs. She really is better off with this other guy. We are still friends. I would not want to lose her friendship, but damn it hurts!

How sweet of you to say that! It is such a comfort to know someone feels my pain also. So, in essence you did ease my pain. Thanks<br />
<br />
ps Did you go together long? Sometimes it just happens ...you fall and fall hard.<br />
It happened to me.<br />
<br />
BEV

I am going through something similar. My would-be love is, even as I write, flying to a resort where the main occupations are lying on the beach and lying in bed with her lover. <br />
<br />
I wish I could ease your pain.

Thanks for your feedback. I did get a text yesterday where he said he would drop the stuff off.<br />
Getting his text and having him do it are 2 different things. Trying to move on, but you are right, I did feel like I gave my soul away. I am now trying to purge him from my soul...<br />
<br />
Thanks again.<br />
<br />
Bev

i understand the "having personal items" part. it's so hard when you give even your soul away and people for their own reasons don't respect your values and desires.<br />
i truly hope you get your stuff back.

I never mentioned commitment or marriage. He did. He even introduced me as his future wife.<br />
What I did do though, was if he told me to call and didn't return my call, I would call again.<br />
He used my possessiveness (as he called it) to define me. When it my estimation, I was just trying to get in touch with him.<br />
<br />
He basically turned the situation around and blamed me when in reality he knew he could never give me or better yet chose to give me his true love.<br />
Thanks for responding.

Thank you all for the words of encouragement and wisdom. This is such a difficult time and the pain seems unbearable.<br />
<br />
The worst part is he has 2 personal items of mine and won't respond to e-mails or phone messages to get items back. <br />
<br />
I want to thank you for your kindness.<br />
<br />
Bev

SweetAngelBaby - we have all been through love and loss and i feel for you. I know it is very hard to face being without him. I think you must have had hints along the way about his fear of commitment? Your heart will put up a few walls before you fall in love again. This is good because it will help you to stand back, be ob<x>jective and observe the next guy and see if he is mate material. I don't know how long you dated before you lived together but i would say a year of dating and trying to get to know someone is minimum. It is too frustrating to be with someone who can't commit so i say good riddance. He was just not the guy for you. You will find someone who is ready. Time will heal the hurt. Just throw yourself back into your life and forget about guys for a while. Good luck and all my best to you!

Sweet AngelBaby, you will meet someone else and perhaps do it all over again. Don't look back, always keep your eyes forward. Enjoy the ride, you never know what's around the next bend in the river!