Can't Do It Anymore...

I'm going to ask my CL husband for a separation today. Asking makes it sound like I need his permission...I don't. This will be the third separation in our relationship and pretty sure our last...I guess I just can't go as far to say it's over, though I'm sure it is. We've been together for almost 6 years and have a daughter. This is my second relationship...the first ended after 12 years when he fell for someone at work. Believe it or not the reason this one is ending for a work affair too...at least that was the major catalyst. We've had problems almost from day one...but you try to work things our, convince yourself that what you're getting is enough. I have two daughters from my first marriage too so I didn't want to disturb their lives again.

I just can't get over the timing of the affair...to be honest I can only confirm an "emotional affair", and that's all he'll admit to even though there was a night he didn't come home and he was with her and some other friends. Said he passed out after drinking all night. Convenient! It all started after she left her husband...he was just there for her to talk to. I should also say he's her supervisor...idiot! Nick names at work, chatting on FB, sending stupid little things on FB apps. Men are so stupid...keep it at work...don't bring it home. I just noticed that he was always chatting with her online. He talks about work and people there constantly but wasn't talking about her any more. So, I checked up on him...think what you will but if I snoop and find nothing I'm the ***...if I find something he is. Shortly before this I had made a decision to put 110% into our relationship. I hadn't and after a big discussion with him made a vow to change my attitude. His complaints were common...not enough affection, intimacy...in other words sex. I did it...we had sex everyday...sometimes 2 or 3 times and I enjoyed it...we were so connected...it felt good. So long story short...I found out about this affair, ended up confronting him...he said just friends, though he did find her attractive. He was happy where he was blah, blah, blah. Everything blew up the night he "went out with the boys"...and didn't come home that night. He admitted to being at the bar with her, dancing with her(and we're not talking the polka) but that's it. Says he passed out and doesn't remember anything after the bar.

...TBC
tlc7 tlc7
31-35, F
Aug 5, 2010