The Tearing Of The Sky

My wife and I decided to go our separate ways. I come home from work and cry and start doing push ups, then sit ups, then some more push ups. And I keep crying. I feel so alone. My family is all over the globe, doing their own thing. I have no way to express how I feel. I just wish the pain would stop. I have to work to survive but I can't keep going anymore. I need to escape somehow.

When were still together as husband and wife, she(my wife) secretly flirted with a former high school friend of hers. Yet for the 7 years that we knew each other, we were so close, always there for each other. We went through so much together and worked so hard to be together and get married. I did all I could to make her happy and she did the same.

Sometimes, when it rains, I go outside and look up at the sky while raindrops fall into my eyes. Whenever I walk home from work, I often imagine what I would look now, if I was still with my ex-wife and I could see myself walking all alone. It feels like every waking moment is like the last second before the sky starts tearing into pieces and the world explodes away from me.

I've tasted a similar kind of sadness before when in high school my first love and I broke up. I never loved like that before in my life, in my very existence.

Going through all of this on my own has been very very difficult. After all, why did she have to go and flirt with her former friend while we werre still getting divorced??!! At least she could have waited for me to get out of her life.

For me, now, there is the knowledge that the future DOES hold new paths and hopes, even though I can't see them now.

mountainbreaker mountainbreaker
22-25, M
Aug 6, 2010