My Husband Keeps Threatening To Leave, Should I Call His Bluff This Time For Me And Kids?

I am 36 have three children and my husband has been suffering from depression since he had an accident at work and was out of work for six months, this was almost five years ago and our first child was only 3 mths old, he threatened to leave then but we worked it out. then I lost my job and we decided to have our second child, she was almost about 8 mths when he decided he wanted to leave again and this time he moved out for three months before realising he'd made a mistake, we pulled together and after much assurance and enthusiasm and promises that he was going to be more involved in the pregnancy, we decided to have a third baby (he was not at all involved, almost to the point of resentment). Now with our son being almost four mths old he's decided he wants out again. This time, I feel I need to keep the momentum going even if he changes his mind again as its not fair on me and the kids. I appreciate it must be hard suffering from depression but it has to be one of the most selfish conditions, he is totally wrapped up in himself.
I am petrified on so many levels, this is his decision but I will inevitably be percieved as the bad guy. I still love him and don't want to no longer have him in my day to day life, I'm not naieve and know with the kids we will aways be connected but I have been with him almost 13 yrs and can't imagine having anyone else in my life... So many scary things to think about, I have to put my head in the sand just to make it from hour to hour. The most important is, which is worse on the kids, listening to us fight and him putting me down so often (we sometimes get on and laugh too), along with the really low times when he disappears to bed for days, or, having Daddy move out but happy when they see him. I can't even think about it without tearing up...
Silverlining75 Silverlining75
31-35, F
1 Response Mar 15, 2012

would just pack his stuff and have it by the door the threats are not good for you or the kids