It's Not Supposed To Be Like This.....

Its been a month since I confronted you and you admitted the truth.

There are so many questions that I want you to answer but I am scared to know the truth. There are so many truth's I wish I could bury and forget.
Why does it feel like its only the painful things that are true... was your Love fake?

The rejection certainly feels real.
Your new lover taking my place... she is real!

Yet you still tell me you already regret it. You say you are suffering more than I am. You don't want to let me go, but you cant face me. You don't want me but you cant let go.

I don't know how I managed to stay calm towards you when I learned about  it all,but I did. I cannot begin to explain how much it cost me to give you a grace-card and wish you all the happiness ahead .But I meant it then and I mean it now.

Now !! go !! away !!.

Cut the bonds and the ties between us. Live the new life you chose and make the best of it PLEASE !!
I cannot process your confusion and your storms over and above mine. Stop reaching out to me when she is not there, and trampling on me when she is.
I cannot fill that role of Loving wife anymore, I cant be your best friend and your security and warmth when you chose someone new and still continue to do so even now.

I am a woman!!!!!
You don't know the strength in me. Once my tears are dry I will stand up again, I will live life with more passion and more vigor. I will love another  again one-day too, and I will not take our baggage with me. I am not giving this pain the right to steal my dreams and destroy my future.

I don't hate you, I am letting you go, to find what really makes you happy- because that is what real love can do.

ItsaLittleBitFunny ItsaLittleBitFunny
31-35, F
4 Responses Apr 29, 2012

Oh wow! You had me crying! You have found the exacts words i wish i could tell my husband. I'm waiting a little so i can build some strenght to tell him i want a divorce, but this is exactly what i feel i would like to tell him. I would litteraly hug you right now! I hope you are doing better xox

I could not have said it better. Married 30 years to a guy who sounds like yours. I am loyal to a fault, but when I hit the wall, I hit is hard and want him gone. I am copying your post to my journal. God bless!

Wow,,, your my new hero !

Wow,,,,I just learned so much from reading your post.........thank you for that!