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Seperated, Hurt And Confused

My husband of almost 4 years just recently separated after I had found out that he still had an addiction problem. This was the 3rd time that something like this had happened and I had warned him the last time that if this happened again I would kick him out. I was so emotional that I called him at work and calmly told him to come get his stuff and he needed to leave. He simply said ok. He never came to get his stuff and I texted him some pretty nasty things but the next day i realized that I should have handled it better and tried to get him help so I called him asking if we could meet to talk. He told me there was nothing to talk about. I ended up finding out that he was staying with some of my friends and that he would ignore my calls and texts. Finally I got to speak with him a few days ago and he told me that it was over and that it wasn't working out. That he was going to get his own apartment and that he wanted to be alone and do the things he wants to do when he wants to do them. He said he was happier now and stopped using drugs and that I was the cause of him taking them. I dragged him down. I encouraged him to go to college, even going as far as sending away for applications, and telling him I would work so he could do that full time and I would move away with him as well. Then he said I had no ambition. I am a college graduate with a good job. But apparently being his wife and wanting to be mother of his children wasn't the right ambition. He also told me that we are better as friends and that why be married if our friendship works. I have loved him for years and he went through so much stuff to be with me and fought for me for years. Now he feels our marriage was a mistake and he's not ready but he still loves me. He hasn't said anything about divorce but took off his ring and said that I should take mine off too and seemed happy when I said that I was supposed to meet a potential date with a friend, but it wasn't for me it was for my friend. He said that there is no other girl he just wants to be alone and find himself and that I need to do the same because he was bored and didn't like his life. But not only that but he is staying with my best girlfriend and her boyfriend and I keep finding out that him and my friend are always hanging out together and doing things but she has not called me for a week even after I ask her boyfriend to have her call me. I just don't know what to do. He has been everything to me and now he's just gone. he told me he would never leave and now I am all alone. I can't stop crying. I can't eat or sleep. I am so heart broken and am afraid that I am not worthy of love and I will never feel loved again.
vargas22 vargas22 22-25, F 4 Responses Jun 24, 2012

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It is a big world out there, you sound a lovely girl! If you can gey out and circulate, even use dating sites, there are some decent people out there amongst the wierdo's!!

Now there is even more drama. My sister, who has seen how hard the separation is for me, got really pissed and messaged my husband and my friend he si staying with and told them that they are pathetic and fake and not good people. My husband ending up texting me at 4am telling me that my sister better watch her mouth and shut the f*** up if I ever want to see him again or else hell is going to break loose and that she made things worse. What do I do? I told him he doesn't need to speak that way about my sister and that yes she should have not said anything. I don't know what to do :(

you said the right thing... of course a sister will go all out for her better half... at the same time you need to make it clear (eventhou you appreciate her having your back) that she needs to stay out of it (keep her distance from him) and he should've expected something like that to say the least!

Hiya hunnie, read my story, i am on day day 8 of my split from my husband & i am finding it hard xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hang in there sweetie! *hugs*

Thank you, but it's not going so well :(

I'm sure this is the toughest time... hope it can only improve over time!

I don't really think it will but thank you

of course it can/will... if things are that bad.. they can only get better (in due time of course) xo

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