Im Not In Love With You Anymore!!

i have been married 18yrs, been together 20 and have 3 children 1 grandchild.
I am 41 my wife is 44, she is a police officer and i work night shift. we both work very hard doing long shifts so social time is quite restricted. i noticed my wife is on facebook hell of a lot lately and quite protected of her phone alarm bells rang straight away, i knew her facebook password and had suspisions so i kept an eye on her private messages to find another work collegue of hers sending her hiya poppett missing you you were going to give me ur number for a chat etc. now i no she hasnt responded to him as he sent a few more saying still waiting. I pulled her on it and she explained reasons which i totally believe her. now my wife has been through crap at work actually being arrested as they thought she was being corrupted by our daughters boyfriend, we had our home searched computers taken so that caused a lot of stress as she almost lost her job then my son got done also which was the icing on the cake as she thought everyone is out to ruing her career.
now i no i havnt been a saint i do weight training and have taken supplements which makes ur moods change some also i have insecurities as i no what goes on in her job as theres a lot of affairs going on in the police. now my wife has sworn on our granddaughters life there is no one else she just needs space and dont want to be in a relationship at the moment so we are still living in the home and sleeping in the bed together which i think is bizare she has removed her wedding ring which has hurt like hell!! i have promised her i will never disrespect her again and change for the better i hope she can give me a chance to prove myself, she is acting very coldly towards me go and sit in the conservatory and i would be in front room its as if im a stranger as i need to let her think and give her her space to make her decision. i cant see her giving up her home and family to have nothing to go to!!
i am that desperate i had my tarot cards read and the lady said things with out me even opening my mouth, the messages from fb etc and she said your wife has left you emotionally not physically and it will come good in the end!! i hope someone can help me no how i should react around my wife at this trouble time i just want to cuddle her but think it would be bad decision!! i have not pressured her with an answer at all im just hanging on to hope and changing for the best so she can see me as a different person.
also she seems to be acting completely out of character posting quotes on fb likeing quotes about being single or treating people like crap etc, think this site is her release valve, she takes random pics of her self then removes them has like a teenager crush thing on jodie marsh saying how she loves her body its all random as this is not my wife!!  is this just a mid life crises? or is she ill ? who knows......
If she wanted out surely she would of moved out the bedroom into our daughters room or even a friends house???

imhurtingsobad imhurtingsobad
41-45, M
1 Response Aug 6, 2012

Brother I feel for you... I'm in a similer situation. Im 29, and my wife is 26. We have been together 10 years, but married 2. Out of no where my wife wants a seperation to "find herself, and independants"... Bro all I can say is some people are insane!!!! I learned somethig from your story. For now we sleep in the same bed, but I continue to cuddle with her to make myself feel wanted, and I think that might not be the best thing to do right now... Thanks:)