After 25 Years!

I did it. I got off this crazy merry go 'round. Twenty five years and enough is enough. It's now 4 months and I'm feeling better than I did a few months ago. I left my husband about 14 years ago and wished I had not gone back but....there were all kinds of reasons to go back. Try again, give it everything you've got, do it for the kids, he made promises of change, I wanted to change! 11 years later and things are still the same. Maybe things were not what they seemed when we married and I just didn't know any better. I'm not without my issues, but how can I work on a marriage with someone who thinks there is nothing wrong and is happy with the way things are. I needed affection (wasn't getting any). Told him. Said he was sorry and will try again. NOPE! I needed support. I need respect and encouragement. HA! He tells me that's what he needs and nevermind about my needs. Any time we talked, it was about him! I'm tired of being ignored. I'm tired of thinking my needs are not valid. I'm tired of thinking that I'm the one with all the problems, hence counseling, medicines, prayers....lots and lots of prayers. Now, I discover about Passive Aggressive Personality disorder. It fits my husband to a tee. Now, finally made the move to leave. No more worrying if I should or shouldn't leave. I feel better. Is there hope in my future? I hope so.
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5 Responses Dec 9, 2012

Sometimes even when it is hard, the best thing to do is to move on. I have been separated since February 2012 and divorced sinced November 2012. There have been times when it wasn't easy, but it was the best thing that could have happened. Keep your eyes on the where you want to be and keep moving forward. If you need to talk to someone who's been there too drop me a message.

As hard as it was for me after a short marriage, I can only imagine how hard it is after 25. The future is full of possibilities for you now though. :) Don't let the details of everything with the divorce overwhelm you. In the end you will come out the other side of it better off.

how are you doing now. I\'m in a state of limbo and don\'t know where to turn.

I am doing better. I am focused on my goals and doing and seeing the things that I have not had the opportunity until now.

It is easy to become bitter by what happens. Letting your ex see you successful, happy, and at peace with yourself is the best revenge you could ever have.

*runs off to google passive agressive PD*

I've complained for years about my husbands PA crap!

You are beautiful and YOUNG, with tons of life ahead. Hope, I suppose you are already seeing it, and as you realize that you weren't sick or deluded for wanting a better life for yourself, you begin to quit ignoring your own needs. I feel proud of you that you did what you've done, and support your right to really ENJOY this next part :)

I think this is common in men who womanize they are self centered. We cannot stay married to or ever date a man who is a womanizer! Even after 25 years, my ex was just worse! I am a very beautiful woman, one in a million beautiful inside and out and he still womanized on ugly woman , low life people, and was very much like the above described men. It is from the media brain washing men and their parents raising them without values and from the competition in sports and the way the world supports men degrading men and being violent and womanizing is the norm and looked up to in todays society of american men! !!!!!!!! that's the entire problem., It is rare to find a great guy, but guess what they exist and they are beautiful and I have found some and am here to tell you not to give up!! believe in love and follow your heart and stay away from women and men like this in the world so we can all be graceful , have intgegrity and live beautiful lives for ourselves and our children. We need to keep only friends whom share the same values as us. this is our lesson.

I am sad about your failed marriage but happy for you that you made a decision for YOU. I can relate to alot of what you have written here. I was married for 27 years and finally tokd him I want to just be alone. He is hurt and moved out 9 days ago. I feel relief but know it is going to be hard for a while. We did it before and he begged to come back... I gave in and after about a week I knew I made a huge mistake. As hard as it seems now I keep telling myself to stick to it and it will all work out. I am being told I have severe mental issues and I am ripping my family apart, how can I do this, etc.... But I was miserable. I was just as lonely in it as I am out of it and I know it is going to be lonely for a while, but I do feel a sense of freedom. And although it is buried deep... It will have a chance to surface. And I can be ME. Hang in there! And if you want or need to talk, please msg me. We seem to be in a very similar situation and the more support we can get the easier it is. Best of luck to you!! Remember, its for YOU!! And you deserve to be happy.

Thank you. Mine is playing the victim along with being so supportive but it wont last. I know this man and he is pissed off. Once lawyers get involved, it should get uglier. Just keeping my eye on the prize. Gotta keep remembering to breathe!!!

are you divorce now?