Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

Sad, Confused, And Lonely.

My wife and I met when I was 18 and a freshman in college. I fell in love with her instantly. A great story, but some other time. Anyways, she graduated junior college and followed me to a FU college. She's the only reason I made it through. A long 6 years supporting one another. Finished my graduate degree and was working as a long-term sub (she as nurse). Had a beautiful wedding. Got our first house. Fixed it up. Got a full-time teaching and nursing jobs.
Starting trying for children. Took a bit, but finally happened. Almost 20 years of being together... Both love our kids. Love our house. Still love and care for one another. Just don't like each other a lot of the time. Living in the same house, but that's about it. We're different people now. We are just so confused on what to do? What's best? Why does separating have to be a bad thing. We both still care for one another and want what's best for one another. We worked so hard to get where we are and with what we have. Blessed. Don't want to mess that up. I want passion. We've lost ours and we both know it. I want someone to want me as much as I want them. Plain and simple. I need that feeling again. I could go on and on and .....
Confusious13 Confusious13 36-40, M 4 Responses Dec 10, 2012

Your Response


Add a response...

You care enough about your marriage to write about wanting to save it - do try! Go to counselling, therapy whatever it takes. Please. I ve known my husband for thirty four years, we grew up together, and now he just left. The pain is beyond description. Please, try...

You have a very moving storey...
And you may not feel like it...but you are somewhat lucky
You both still respect each other...
And it does sound like a lack of closeness,
but passion is very important.....
and I beleive any relationship is a always a work in process...

I too met my husband at eighteen and after 20 years married and 23 years together
woke up to find out he betrayed my children and I with an affair..
Now there is no respect and will end nasty....unfortunetly

Whether you take another look at you guys as a couple
or decide mutually that the passion just isn't there anymore..
I wish you all the best with your decision

Sounds like you may want to consider joint and separate sessions with a sexual therapist, before going through a separation. The data on separation solving relationship problems is less than 5%. It usually leads to divorce and divorce is a life changing event for everyone in the family.
They may even be able to a doc to prescribe your wife oral oxytocin. Notice the spelling, this is not oxycontin.
I wish you the best in life.