The Separation!

I have known my husband for 29 years, im 29! We were married for 6 years, together for 8! I tried about 3 years ago to tell him that I couldn't take much more of being left alone all the time with the kids, Could no longer take being left alone period. He would always say that I knew what I was getting into when I married him. That he was into fishing and hunting and that I knew life was going to be this way! In 6 years he had never done anything with me really! He got mad at me alot and called me names a good percentage of the time. He always told me if I wasn't happy I could just leave, I listen to him tell me that for years until I couldn't listen anymore. He's walking around like he's the injured party. Because I left and took the kids. He said he was a good husband and father, "I didn't hit you or anything!" he said. It's amazing how someone can gage their worth as a husband and a father based on the fact that they "didn't" hit you.

Trust! Such a small word, with such a huge bite. It can make or brake any relationship as well as the person. He never trusted me because his family it self is so untrusting. His mom and his sister were always trying to make feel less then what I was. Then at times they would build me up, I swear just to bring me down again. They always talked about me behind my back, always. I never had a chance in hell of making it. I tried though.

The day I left I told him that I wanted to go to counciling with him, but that I had to live somewhere else while we did it. I couldn't take his family anymore. He said he understood. He wasn't happy but said he understood. Was not happy that I took the kids with me but, I knew my rights. Again he said he understood. My husband promised me that he would help me get my license, he never did. Always complained I didn't have it, but was never going to change that his wife was dependant on him for everything, why would he, he was in control. So the day I left I had to call my parents to pick me up, he knew they came and got me, he knew where I was and where his kids were. Later as im sitting at my parents thinking I wish he would just see how the way he was treating me was not ok that we both needed to work to be able to salvage anypart of this relationship, there was a knock at the door. This is it I thought my husband has finally understood he is going to really try and work on this with me.......................................................................The answer was a big fat NO!

When I opened the door it was not for my husband but for the poilce. They stated very nicely that my husband was worried for my childrens well being, as well as my own, because when I left the house he was unsure of my mental state. I was crying when I left, I had confided in my husband, my supposed best friend. That I needed time, that I was feeling pretty crappy about myself and needed time to process how I was really feeling.

The man that I loved and thought loved me, shattered every good and warm image I have ever had of him. Since I left I have had nothing but bad days. I am constantly told stories of me leaving him because I found someone else, that i was cheating on him. That I had a nervous break down. The funny thing is that the truth doesn't even matter anymore, because it's just another story to ad to mess of the moment.

I never thought in a million years I would be here. On my way to seperation then divorce. I took my vows very seriously. meant every word. But I couldn't do it alone I needed the man I married to be the man I married and that never happened. He was just carbon copy of his up bringing. He wanted someone that was going to stay home and take care of everything and never have a life of her own. Be there for him, and sometimes there in return.

Now he wants to share custody of the kids. What a joke I mean, I was always the one there and Im the one that did everything for them all the time. He just got to reap the bennifits when he had time to spend with us. I want them to still see him. I want them to have a relationship. I don't want to take that from them. I offered him every weekend from friday at 3pm. He just wants more and I just want to keep them with me during the week so that they have a solid schedual for school. Im not sure what is going to happen in mediation but what I do know is I am not going to back down. I took how he treated me for years. Im going to fight now for what I hope is the right decision. Am I doing whats right for my children? God I hope so.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 15, 2013