Lost And Confused

Hi everyone :) i am new to this site and would love to speak to others who are going through a similar experience to me for advice and support and hopefully i can give some back. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 10 years we live together but are not married and have a beautiful 18 month old son together who we both adore.
Things have not been right between us for some time it feels like we are going through the motions and plodding i feel i have lost my closeness and connection with him and we do not have much in common anymore, he feels the same way. There have been no arguments as such in fact we still get on very well but are both not sure if we are more like friends these days i do love him and he says he loves me but we re not sure if its more like friends and if we can get back what we had. It seemed to creep up on us i think when we had our son all of our focus went into him and we forgot about each other we didnt know what was happening until the distance was there.
Sometimes we struggle to find things to talk about, we sat down and talked about it a few months back and both promised to try harder with each other but it slipped back very quickly, now we are here again we ve agreed on a 6 month separation to see how we both feel about each other i will still see him as he will be seeing our son regularly. In the meantime we are sorting out money and how to go about it all so its going to take at least a month, we are still getting on well which is confusing but know we have to do this so at the moment its hard as im very up and down to what i would like the outcome to be.
Im quite emotional and wear my heart on my sleeve where he isnt at all i wish he had more fight and emotion concerning us but hes just not like that! Hes a good man and i do love him im just not sure hes the one for me anymore but in another thought i do!!!! Confusing eh?!
Sorry to waffle on thank you for reading and looking forward to hearing from some of you soon xxx
chrissy333 chrissy333
31-35, F
1 Response Jan 23, 2013

I know exactly what you mean. Very similar situation. I think we have to stand up for ourselves and know our self worth. Someone out there will treat us the same as we want to treat others. We just want someone to fill us and I believe that exists. When somethings missing, "it's missing". We can't teach a cat to bark anymore than we we can change our mates. We just need to look for ones that fit us better. It happens. We can't lose another 10 years being polite (as Jerry McGuire movie states). If we find out current mates are the ones after getting out there, great! But we have to try. I just signed up for this today to do the same thing as you. We are both trying and asking questions in our own way. That's all we can do is try.