My Wife Is Moving Out Day 2

I am considering giving this letter to my wife. Please be so kind to let me know what you think.

I have taken some time and searched deep inside me and I am sorry for how I have handled the George situation.  I have always been afraid of losing you.  I see all the great parts of you.  The kind, loving, giving, responsible, hard working, beautiful woman that you are.  I could not imagine a more perfect girl than you.   Where you ask why would anybody want to be with me, I ask how could they possibly not want to be with you.

But I cannot control you and your life and feelings.  What I would do and how I feel are sometimes different than what you would do or how you would feel.  Whatever choices you make are up to you.  I can only control my reactions to those choices. 

I choose to trust you.  You have never done anything to give me any reason to not trust you.  I have no reason not to trust you now.  I have been making the situation worse with my reactions.  But no more. 

I am strong and getting stronger.  I have some issues but I am a good man.  I love my wife and my family.  I would do almost anything for the people in my life.  I have worked hard and I am successful.  I am working on making a lot of changes to make me an even better man.  You have seen some of these changes and you know that I am working on others.  I have a beautiful life, one that a lot of people would trade me for in a heartbeat. 

You have trusted me with your feelings, your confusion, your pain.  There is no doubt that it has hurt and I am scared.  I bet that you are hurt and scared too.  This has been the most difficult time in my life.  But I will be OK.  I have accepted the fact that if I don't let you go, you will leave.  I want you to be a part of my life but I want you to want to be there and that means you have to find what makes you happy and whole.

I made a promise to you 15 years ago.  I meant what I said back then.  I will continue to work on fixing our marriage with every ounce of effort I can find.  If it works, the rewards will be worth the tears.  If not, I will still be a better man for putting in the effort.  Plus we have two sons who are innocent victims of our situation.  We have to do the best we can for them always.

 I hope you can find what you are looking for and I hope you can be happy.  I will love you and care for you always and forever. 
Dakota06 Dakota06
36-40, M
2 Responses Jan 25, 2013

Seriously - I'm here right now, and I've let my wife grind me down and devalue me for far too long. Now that I no longer have to spend a lot of my time worrying about her and the things she wants or if she's going to come home in a bad mood or if she's thinking about leaving the marriage again, I have never felt freer or more hopeful for my own future.

Realize that you have value - but nobody can get anything accomplished when they spend all day shoveling a bad woman's bullsh*t. Find something else to focus on and try to leave her out of your mind.

Sorry to hear this. It sounds like our situation. But I must say I've been a little wimp thru all this. I comprised myself many times for her. She knew that too. She got stronger as I got weaker.
We need to hold our heads high and say we did all that we could and let them go

It's tough love for us.

Good luck. If you want to chat me up. I'm a good listener