12 Years Down The Drain

I've lost the love of my life basically because of the horrible economy. It's true that most relationships end because of finances, even if you think nothing can touch the love you have for each other.  That's the way it started.  We grew apart after a job lose, well quite afew job losses.  He moved out onto our sailboat that we still had at the lake.  He moved all of his stuff into a storage unit and went to the boat, although we talked every day as though much of nothing had ever happened.  I loved him and only wanted him back. Well over a two year span he left a total of 9 times. Sometimes within two weeks apart.  He would tell me he loved me so much and I would go out of town for a few days to see my mother and all along talking to him in the usual way but when I returned the few things he had brought home would be gone along with him.  Within a period of 3 months he left 7 times and I begged him like a dog to come home.  He came home with some things of his  in August 09 and would stay a night then other nights he would go to the boat and not even tell me.  Eventually when it got colder here in T.N he stayed at the house.  He never brought all of his stuff home from the storage unit and all the while I trusted him less and less.  I would come home every day and look around to see if he had taken his stuff out again, every day I did this.  We never really got close again.  To much damage had taken place and I didn't realize this until the months went by and I never really felt like he was here to stay. He left this past Tuesday and I haven't talked to him since.  We had the greatest love for many years and I just can't believe that this has happened to us.  There is alot more to the story but I can't type all of what has happened, maybe I'll tell more later.  Can someone out there tell me that I'm better off without someone who is so unpredictable?  I feel guilty, although I know deep down in my heart that I've done everything possible to save this marriage

ladycox ladycox
41-45, F
5 Responses Feb 14, 2010

thanks ladycox much appreciated! Please take care and also remember that God will always be there for us and in time we will know the reason why we have had to take these paths. x

thanks for listening and replying back to me. I'm feeling pretty relieved ,as surprising as that may sound. I didn't realize how bad I was feeling about him leaving me all of those times until he left for the 10th time. I realize that he just hasn't really cared about me tthat much through all of this horror. There is a new country song out right now ,and although the lyrics are pretty astounding ,people like us will get a kick out of it. It's called something like, "I pray for you", you must youtube this one. I hope that you are feeling good today. I can't imagine being married for 33 years and having him leave. I guess that is what happened, right. I'm so sorry, but remember we are here for you and you are in our thoughts and prayers. There is some reason for what we are going through and only God knows what that is ,and it will be revealed in time. You know, we will get through this, I know it!!!

thank you ladycox u have also made my day. It is true there are so many people on this site that are hurting. Please let me know what happens and stay strong

thanks for the comments. I really needed it. This site has really helped me. I'm so sorry about what's happening to you. It breaks my heart for everyone on this site who is hurting. Stay strong and pray often.

I really dont know how to answer you as at this point in time, Im just as confused as you are. This after 33 years of marriage. I dont care what anyone says, but money , and I mean lack of it, does affect a marriage. It certainly does feel like one has thrown so many years down the drain, whether it be 12 or 33 years. I have other issues too that are a problem in my marriage, but when you feel that you dont know how to humanly try anymore to get it all right, again, I think that perhaps its time to move on, no matter how difficult and painful its going to be. Afterall, we are only human and have a right to feel needed, appreciated and loved. When trust goes and your partner has become so unpredictable that really hurts badly. You eventually become tired of being supportive and forgiving. Go with your gut feeling - its seldom lets u down.