I Dont Want to Be Lonley

Well I just had a baby he is 2 months old and I also have a five year old. And I love my children very much. I have a fiance who is never home hi is always at work which is OK but then after work he goes out , even his free time on the weekends he is out or if we argue he doesn't come home. during the week he comes when he is done doing whatever he is doing then eats, showers and goes to bed. Where is my time. He doesn't want me to go out anywhere but he doesn't want to spend time. He thinks taking me to the grocery store is my time. He stays out and I am at home with the kids and when they are sleeping I am crying trying to call him and he ignores my calls. The loneliness takes over and I go into this deep dark hole. I try to talk to him and he says he will try to fix things and the next day it is back to the same thing all over again.  I have no friends to talk to or to even go out with. but I guess even if I did he still wouldn't be around to watch the kids so that I could have some me time. I hate the way I feel so hopeless like I don't even know what I enjoy doing anymore. We dont even talk. He gets so annoyed with me and then I just get mad so I just stay quiet. I can't live like this. I deserve to be with someone who enjoys being with me. but then I think I have 2 kids one is his and the other is not. Like he tells me who would want to be with me after having two kids.  I dont know. I try to be strong and I believe that soon I will have my day. But for now I guess loneliness is what i have to deal with until I figure out what to do.

proudmami28 proudmami28
26-30, F
4 Responses Feb 17, 2009

Never, never, never say "that loneliness will have to do". As others have already said he is a selfish and ignorant person. I am man so it is difficult for me to put myself in you place. But you do need to have strong talk with him, and tell him how you feel and what you want. Be brave and stand up to him. You might be surprised things might change for the better. But if they don't then is he the man for you? <br />
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You can't go on like this!! My wife did, I was like your fiancee, she couldn't take any it more, her depression drove to end it all. She never talked to me, she was probably to frightened. She just left me a letter. I hope if she had talked to me I would have changed, but I was never given the chance to find out.<br />
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You must change things for the better.

"then I think I have 2 kids one is his and the other is not. Like he tells me who would want to be with me after having two kids."<br />
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He actually _says_ this to you?! What an a$$hole! Unless that comment is a one-time event and totally out of character, he is mean and he thinks nothing of disrespecting you and diminishing you as a person.<br />
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Based on no more than this one post, I doubt if this is a guy who will change. I hope I'm wrong or I hope you get out. Peace.

I think you need to sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel. You can't live like this and nor should you have to. Do you have any family you could stay with for a while? You could leave for a couple of days or maybe a week. Let him no your serious and you want things to change if not the move will be permanent. ( you don't have to mean the permanent move but just to make him think what he could lose) If things don't change then i would leave :( your obviously not happy there and you deserve better.

I think you should talk to him and let him know that if things dont change this is whats gonna have to happen and just because only 1 of the kids is his gives him no right he new it when yall first got together and stayed therefor excepting him and believe me there are plenty of people who wouldnt think what he says he just saying that cause he doesnt want to lose you so he puts you down only to realize in the end that hes the one who pushed you away dont worry everything will be alright you can come live with me=]