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Painful

we married for 7 years. We stayed happily with 2 years ol daughter.But the things was over.....
I have our second baby last year. He is a baby boy,i was so happy,he too.
I realise my husband has an extramarital affair after 3 days i delivered my son.
Its happened few months ago before i delivered. I feel so painful and distressing because it happened when i need him so much at that moments.
I lies me about everything, i get crazy. I cry everyday during my confinement....nobody knows....
after our baby born 15 days, he wants to divorce! How is my world?? I carried 2 yrs old daughter and ran out,i drove high speed in the midnight.
What happen then....we go back on the next morning. i calm down myself...my kids need me,i can not do the silly things...
The times past 6 months, he went out till midnight,sometimes did not come back....When he back, i force myself smile and asking are u tired?Are you hungry? But  i cry when i turned behind him....i keep myself looking good,i did everything because of him,i love him.

ooilee13 ooilee13 26-30 10 Responses Jun 9, 2010

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why would you sacrifice as such when you can get divorce and live separately and start a new life.

Your husband will burn in hell someday. Your children need you though. Single women with children in the dating charts are very popular right now. Find someone who isn't a complete jackass. He obviously doesn't deserve you. You're a very brave woman,keep it up.

www.survivinginfidelity.com is great site for you to find the support you need, Ooilee and for you, too, dearsandy.

Furthermore ~ If you want to **** around then you should have the BALLS to ask your wife for a divorce! Choosing to have an affair is YOUR choice and YOUR fault...there is nothing your wife has done to make that okay. You chose to marry her and your made vows to her alone which include forsaking all others. NOT until you don't feel like it anymore!<br />
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I am sorry your marriage isn't all you had hoped it would be. It seems to me that you should be spending your extra time and money in appointments with a marriage counselor rather than ******* your girlfriend.

dearsandy - I am a great wife. I have been an awesome and willing lover, very rarely turning down sex only if I am sick. I have been intentional about romance and excitement for my husband. I have done a great job raising our children. I have done everything that could be expected and more. My husband still had an affair. I assure you it t is not because he wasn't getting it at home. It is a large assumption you are making in your comments that the wife is somehow responsible for her husband's actions. If he had needs that weren't being fulfilled then he should have come to her about it....not some other woman.

Hey am in a EMA recently I have tried and will try to persuade my wife to enjoy romance in life but nothing has changed much, am 35 now past 5yrs of marriage. Sex and romance were just a monthly event despite my serious efforts Love I still have the difficulty to feel it. Her main part of daily routine which had been busy house work. I have tried to balance her life by indulging more in kitchen helping her and taking care of the kid easing her workload like every woman would want her man to be. Its been a effort that has not reaped any benefit than i getting into a forceful EMA with a colleague of mine . I hope I would sometime in future get my wife complaining like u did it in any of these help columns. But I would seriously advice you to turnaround and look back analyse what went wrong and what have you done to build the relationship. Frankly any married guy will not get into serious EMA until he has failed to get the better of his married life with a balance of Love romance and sex. There are few exceptions but still these hubby's would revert to wife in later course of life if there really exists a balance of Love romance and sex.<br />
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If he has gone to level of divorce here i would assume that you have not worked seriously and smartly in building your relationship. If he hasnt got it yet, you can emotionally tune him back with few basics of Love romance and sex. Dont fight or pitch your tone play diplomacy assure he will be back for u forever. <br />
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Am in an EMA and have gone to the level of physical intimacy but still seed my hope if my wife complies to the reality of life the earliest. The colleague with whom am in an EMA is also married and she feels the lack of time by her hubby where am able to support my comfort. I do love her as my wife but with no serious intention to leave my real wife and kid and I feel the same from her too.

Hey am in a EMA recently I have tried and will try to persuade my wife to enjoy romance in life but nothing has changed much, am 35 now past 5yrs of marriage. Sex and romance were just a monthly event despite my serious efforts Love I still have the difficulty to feel it. Her main part of daily routine which had been busy house work. I have tried to balance her life by indulging more in kitchen helping her and taking care of the kid easing her workload like every woman would want her man to be. Its been a effort that has not reaped any benefit than i getting into a forceful EMA with a colleague of mine . I hope I would sometime in future get my wife complaining like u did it in any of these help columns. But I would seriously advice you to turnaround and look back analyse what went wrong and what have you done to build the relationship. Frankly any married guy will not get into serious EMA until he has failed to get the better of his married life with a balance of Love romance and sex. There are few exceptions but still these hubby's would revert to wife in later course of life if there really exists a balance of Love romance and sex.<br />
<br />
If he has gone to level of divorce here i would assume that you have not worked seriously and smartly in building your relationship. If he hasnt got it yet, you can emotionally tune him back with few basics of Love romance and sex. Dont fight or pitch your tone play diplomacy assure he will be back for u forever. <br />
<br />
Am in an EMA and have gone to the level of physical intimacy but still seed my hope if my wife complies to the reality of life the earliest. The colleague with whom am in an EMA is also married and she feels the lack of time by her hubby where am able to support my comfort. I do love her as my wife but with no serious intention to leave my real wife and kid and I feel the same from her too.

thats a spirit ....keep it up ........however it wont help u ever .......................he will never *** back to u if he have gone to sumone else ...............................u have to carry on ur life with all unstatisfaction n full of compromises

through every tear that falls, it isn't vein, to stop the flow, it is time to move on, don't be aftraid to end it where it is at, by staying where you are only condones what he is doing. its time to start a new life again Ooilee. The pain has to stop some time. It is up to you to stop it

listen you gotta stop that and must LOVE YOURSELF above him. He is being an *** you should kick him away and divorce then sue him take every cent he has and if he doesn't have any make him work his butt off to pay you and your kids. Do not do it to your self and also your kids do not deserve to be living in a house with a man like that. Before divorcing record his confessions and take whatever proofs you have like convos, emails and pictures. You will see there's not only one person meant to us and the other man is waiting for you somewhere. Be strong and respect yourself and you gonna be happy again with someone who respects you and your children.