I have bee married for 14 years to a wonderful man, who is a perfect father to our kids. He gives me everything i could ever want. About 2 years ago, i rekindled an old friendship with a man i know for about 20 years. I met him long before i met my husband, and we have always been friends. For the past 2 years we have been in a relationship. We both care for each other dearly, and cant be away from each other. He is also married with kids. He loves his wife, and i love my husband, but we also love each other. we dont see each other often, cause we live in different states, but when we do, its magic. We have never had sex yet, but we do have intimate moments, which we both treasure. We both love and care for our families, but we love and care for each other too. Is there anyone else out there in a similar situation? How do u cope in a situation like this. It hurts so much that we cant be together.
san23 san23
36-40, F
7 Responses Oct 21, 2010

its true - Life is not that simple as it seems to be. The more we get into it, the complex it tends to be. Your story is the same as mines......

Right now i am in the same situation the only difference is we live in two different countries but talk almost everyday..We even had sex. i too need advice

The possible hurt you could cause your husband and family in my opinion far outweighs your own personal joy your getting from this affair. Now you said theres been no sex yet, I would stop it right now before it leads to that because once it gets physical that brings in all kinds of emotions that do nothing but make things way more confusing. Now I'm sure your husbands not perfect but for that matter neither are you. It's time to stop being selfish and start communicating better with your spouse because it sounds like you still love him alot. I hope your able to work everything out for you and more importantly your family.

if you really love your husband and he loves you back, why are you in another relationship? does your bf give you something that your husband cannot give? why not try cultivating your relationship with your husband first? <br />
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if you can help it, dont go into an affair if you cannot live with the consequences of losing you family if you get found out. another thing, if your relationship with your bf gets deeper, this would take its toll on you. being away from each other might get you depressed.<br />
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on the other hand, life is short. if you leave this other relationship unexplored, you might end up living your life in regret. weigh things out. don't expect anything though, just enjoy each other and never fall in love.<br />
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whatever you decide to do, i hope for your happiness. good luck.

Explain this to say your husband gives you everything you could ever want.. right? Then why do you need to other guy? If you love your husband, drop this other guy and don;t talk to him again. Honestly, he doesn;t respect you are his wife. If he did, he wouldn;t be doing this with you. <br />
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I know that which I talk....I almost had an affair. I almost lost the man whom I love more than life itself. He found out and it crushed him. Luckily, he is still with me and we plan to marry in a few years. But PLEASE...if you love your husband at all, STOP THIS. Talk to your husband about if there is anything wrong with your relationship and then FIX IT WITH YOUR HUSBAND.

I am on the other side of a similar scenario. My husband had an affair last year. I found out about 6 months ago. I can not begin to explain the immense pain I feel. When I first found out I literally laid on the floor weeping and wailing for four days; it is not a clean break as a death would be. Now I have a vast empty space where my heart used to be. I cannot feel joy. It hurts so much. <br />
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Please, for the sake of your spouses (whom you both proclaim to love) please disengage. Put your energies into your spouse. It is worth it. You can have a great and wonderful marriage; please don't destroy it. I would suggest you stop all communication with this person thereby avoiding the "slippery slope." <br />
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I know you probably will continue on this path because it feels amazing, it is fun and exciting right now. But this road ultimately leads to shame, guilt and immeasurable pain. Please, reconsider.

Introduce both men and convert individual affair to family affair. Don't (repeat) don't try or think of indulging into physical relationship with your freind. You try, it will work.