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Affair With My Soulmate

i have been married for 17 years to a man whom i thought i loved. as the years went on, our differences surfaced and gradually i fell ou t of love with him. i felt this 5 years into the marriage, but i still tried to make it work. i concentrated on our daughter too, who is now 14 years old. for like the past ten years i stopped being intimate my husband. i kept rejecting his overtures and eventually he stopped.

i had my first boyfriend when i was in junior high school. we were together for a couple of months before we lost contact with each other. he got married early and has three kids now.

we met again after 29 years. we eventually got into an affair. it's been half a year now,nand going stronger every day.

i initially wanted to make our relationship casual, but eventually i found myself falling deeply in love with him. we match on all aspects, intellectually, emotionally, physically and sexually. he said he wanted us to grow old together, and we agreed that in two years, we will leave our respective spouses.
if only we could be together now, we would do it but i want to wait for my daughter to finish her high school studies first.

however, i find our arrangement very difficult because we're still involved with our own partners. whenever we need to part, it kills me every single time. it hurts to even imagine what he could be doing when were apart. he has been very assuring and does everythjing to assuage my fears. he gives me all the time he could give, and he calls me constantly throughout the day. i know in my heart he is sincere and loves me the way i love him.

i love him so much and i'm willing to wait for our time to be together to come. our situation is difficult but we just won't give each other up. i just love him like i've never loved anyone.
popcornlove popcornlove 41-45, F 7 Responses Oct 7, 2011

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I drink alcohol to forget about him but the more I drink alcohol, the more I think about him.
Alcohol does not work. What should I do! I am waiting for guidance from god.

He knew when he saw me that I am his twin soul and has done everything to let me know.
But me silly goose have been unaware of the term "soul mate" and have been thinking the guy wants an easy affair with a married woman like me. And have done all in my power to avoid, hide, run whatever to let him know that I am not interested at all. But the things won't stop around me. The things and circumstances, everything reminding me of him, like wherever I go, I hear his names screamed by people. My friends calls me and mentions his name for other purposes. My friends don't even know about it. And I watch tele, surf net, read book everything consists of his name. I ignore, thinking he has very popular name. And of course in my dreams. I hear his name at least once wherever I go. The more I freak out, the more I hear it and see the things related to him. I didn't know why and what's happening. I also liked him so much even though he is not handsome at all. Even though I ran away, I feel he is always around me. When I feel sick, he appears around (not to see me) and I feel automatically healed. I hear his voice and I feel so good. I started to drink alcohol to forget about my strong feelings. It's been going on for nearly a year now. And few days back, I was looking for marriage line in palmistry online, like how many marriages and children etc, there comes on the page, the 'soul mate' line on palm. I searched on the net and found out that soul mate lines are at the bottom of the hand with the distinctive shape. And then, I searched what's soul mate. There comes numerous good readings about 'twin soul' and 'soul mate'. Most of the things described by these psychics and experts matched what happened to me.
Now I know what 'soul mate' and 'twin flame' is. They are both known by you from past lives.
One can have many soul mates because soul mates are karmic. But twin flame is only one.
My husband is my karmic soul mate. And the one that likes me is my 'twin flame' because the feelings are stronger like hell.
Once I learnt that he is my twin soul, I cried for 2 days like hell. The tears just fell from eyes without any effort. The pain, the heart ache was unbelievable. I wanted to destroy everything around me. What a finding! Has it not for that website, I would have never known!
But I have already rejected him and he only comes around sometimes.
In a way, I feel good because that chaotic craziness does not cover me which happens every time he is around. I go restless every time he is around and I run.
And I don't know what to do now as I don't want to hurt my 'twin soul' becoz it hurts me too. Besides I miss his voice so much. We haven't said more than formal greetings.
I miss his voice so much!!!!!!!!!

I am in a similiar situation. I believe that everyone comes into your life for a reason and at the right times. I have married for 20 years and have fallen in love with a lifelong friend.We have always been connected but need to see through our family committments. Every day is a precious gift. Enjoy each other when you can as you never know what tomorrow will bring. I also believe that people grow and change and their needs grow and change. I am not the person I was in my 20s. My husband is a wonderful man and a terrific father. We are not connected. I am very much connected to my old friend, my best friend, my soul mate. I pray that life wil provide us an opportunity to share our lives together in the future. <br />
Best wishes for happiness.

I hate to say this to you popcorn but as a former therapist I'm willing to bet any amount of money that he will never leave his wife and he'll always just keep stringing you along.

I think that if he was your 'soulmate' then you would have found each other before your commitments. Think about it: soul-mate.

this is so simplistic. sometimes soulmates find each other later in life when circumstances lead them to each other.

Show your husband a small measure of kindness and ask for a divorce now. After 16 years he deserves that much even if you do not tell him about the affair. As for your soulmate you won't know about that until he marries you and has to put up with you denying him for 10 years then cheating on him. Write us back and tell us how much of a soulmate he is then.

i am going to have my marriage annulled. i have planned this not because of my boyfriend now. i have planned this way before i got reconnected with my ex-bf.
for the record, let me just state that my husband has repeatedly cheated on me and i have put up with him for the last 10 years or so.
however all this will end soon once our marriage gets annulled.

Good for you. If what you say about the cheating is true then I apologize as I can certainly understand since my wife of 23 years cheated on me six years ago. Still be the bigger and better person and just end the marriage. It will preserve your respect for the institution and make it means something if you ever marry again. God Bless you though.

Seriously - why wait? The children sense it anyway. If he cannot respect his wedding (or partnership) vows, what's the point? And don't let yourself down by cheating because HE did it too. Leave with your head high.

It appears he was not the only one to disrespect the wedding vows. How does it go......."to have and to hold". I don't think hubby was getting much holding at home so he did what any other red blooded man would do- go find someone who will hold him. Surprised he didn't leave your frigid *** years ago.

you know, we're so in sync not only sexually, but physically and emotionally as well. i don't think i'll ever deny even a single time.

clarityinnb i have obviously struck a very sensitive chord in you. hence, your personal hostility towards me. it shows even in this other thread: http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Live-In-A-Sexless-Marriage/forum/A-Little-More-Insight-To-Their-Personailties/67167 to everyone reading this, just read the above-mentioned thread. it will give you a deeper understanding of this issue. piece of advice to you clarityinnb, instead of hostility, why not try to open your mind? maybe you just might stumble into some insights that will help you deal with your issues.
and dont you ever call me frigid. my boyfriend has proven that i'm not, over and over and over again.

i would not have it annulled, when it comes time to get ur socail secuirty ... u are entiled to the greater of the two yours or ur x husbands,... if u were married for ten years un less u got other monies to help u when u are older...

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Hey ...am so surprised..ur story is so similar to mine...except that I dont have a child but the man I love has a son...dunno what will happen next..