What Now?So just when I thought things were getting better, they got worse. While trying to talk to my wife about this whole thing, I asked her what exactly both she as well as this other man is getting out of the whole affair, she says "Do you want to ask him?". At first, I thought no, I don't, because I know what it would lead to..name calling, accusations, etc, plus i didn't expect him to tell me the truth either.. But then I figured OK, why not. So i sent him a message, to which he at first blew off and asked my wife if he even should. So I caught him online and confronted him directly..of course, he starts in with a typical load of bullshit, and then replies "I will answer one thing..I don't intend on doing anything around "your kid". So I ask "So you are planning on flying from The UK to here?" "Of course I'm coming" he says.
You would think after all the arguments I've had with her, and asking numerous times if he was indeed coming, she would be honest and tell me the truth, but now she swears she had no idea he was planning anything..I cant believe she wouldn't know..How could she not? Now all of a sudden I'm the one who did wrong by asking him in the first place and then going after him to get an answer..she tells me "I wasn't serious when I said you should ask him". How the **** am I supposed to know that?! She didn't say it in a sarcastic or facetious manner..She says that I was "snooping" and that I am pushing her farther away by doing this.
As of today, I am finally broken..I told her that I truly love her, but her whole "ignorance is bliss" attitude about it all has caused me to stop caring what she does anymore, and I told her so. She then asks "Do you think I still love you?" I told her no, her actions have proven that time and again..She began crying, like she's genuinely hurt by that. I hate seeing her cry but i hate the way this whole thing has made me feel too. Should i have left well enough alone or did I have the right to know? And more to the point, will i be able to live past this? I don't have the answer to either of those..but i do know that I want..and might..do great harm to him if not myself when he arrives. I have never had the gut hatred for someone like this, and I have been in my fair share of scrapes with people who I am violently opposed to.
But murder? Or suicide?
Liedtonolonger 31-35, M 2 Responses 0 Jul 30, 2012