It's Called "Menopause", But It Can Feel Like "Mental Pause"
Like so many of the vestiges of having breast cancer and going through treatment, I am a bit angry about my menopause.
I am 46, so it isn't that I never considered the possibility of menopause, but I thought it would come later not suddenly as I was dealing with my cancer.
I now find that with the hot flashes, and the difficulty I have in losing weight, I suddenly get what my mom was going through when I was in college. I suddenly understand why she would get so sweaty and be so tired at night.
I understand more of the reason that she was prone to depression. Of course these memories of my mother are bittersweet since they cannot be shared...she has Alzheimers disease.
I am past the largest part of my anger regarding menopause. It isn't as though I have found a bright side. My doctor's tell me it isn't officially menopause until you have gone a year without a period. OK so it will be official in September.
I suppose my experience with menopause, at least arriving at this stage, is atypical from the natural route since my menopause was chemically induced, but I am sure that the hot flashes and metabolic changes are just the same as women who arrived here the traditional way.
I guess materially I am the same gal, but not having the estrogen does make me feel less sexual and desirable....I look at women younger than me and see a time gone past.