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Dealing With Deployment

I never realized just how hard it may be at times. Knowing that my husband is deployed, and worrying about his safety when I don't hear from him is nerve racking. I wish I could just reach out and hug him. We have been seperated more than we have been together as a couple. I've always been able to deal with it much better than now. Sometimes I hate the fact that we even have this war. Sometimes I don't even feel like going on, but then I snap back in reality and remind myself that I am so much stronger than I give myself credit for. I also think about, what would my husband want me to do. Being strong is so hard to do at times. I cry, wishing that my husband was here to comfort me. I think about all the times we had together, and anticipate the day he comes home. 15 months seems like an eternity to be away from my husband. He hasn't even been gone a month yet, and I find it so depressing at times. It's like my right hand is gone, but I know it won't always be like this. I look at our pictures, and read over emails, just to keep me sane when I feel like I'm about to lose it. Being away from my husband is so hard and I hate it, but I know he's doing a great thing for me, and for our country. I just want him home, like NOW!! I guess I'm dealing with it the best way I can. I have my good days, and my bad days, and I know that God will bring my husband back home, sooner than I think. I love my husband, my soldier, and can't wait until he comes back home to me.
HisQueen HisQueen 31-35, F 32 Responses Sep 16, 2007

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im going through my first deployment & have about six months left and i wish i had more friends , all my friends guys are with them so i feel like nobody gets how i feel or i get the negative "why even bother with him".

Hang in there, you are stronger than you think and it gets easier. My soldier has been in Afghan for 5 months now, haven't heard from him in 7 weeks and it's killing me but sadly he is in a very isolated camp so only gets post once a month and a few phone calls here and there, its been really tough but I know I can get through this, and hopefully he is home in less than 5 weeks and knowing that he may be home soon is what is keeping me going. xxx

Hi. This is my first deployment as a wife. My husband's second deployment. We went through his first as friends, and three months after he came back we got married. A few weeks after we were married he deployed again. It was something that we had both discussed. I recently moved in with my folks, until he gets back. <br />
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This deployment has been tough. I miss my husband so much, he is my best friend. The only thing that make it easier is knowing that I will get to see him soon for r&r. <br />
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Before he left we talked about the frg. I am not sure, and maybe you all can let me know, if you have to be from where his home unit is to contact them. I have recently found myself longing to talk to someone that can relate to my situation. <br />
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I do work full time, and that helps occupy my time. I try to talk to my family, but they don't understand what it's like. Essentially, the responses i get are the "Well, you all knew this was part of his job." I can't tell you how much i hate that response. lol. <br />
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I sometimes just want someone that I talk with, and vent to, and can understand what it is like to be a military wife. Someone who understands that sometimes you just need to cry, and that sometimes you wear the strong face, but inside you're lonely, stressed out, worrying like crazy. <br />
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I miss him so much.

Its nice to know we are not alone . . . . im usually up deep thinking with no one to talk to . I wouldnt mind a voice on the other end of the line who understands .

It will never get easier. It will always suck but one day it will be over. Been there, still doing it, trying my damnedest. Be strong hun.

you just took all the words out of my mouth!<br />
thanks, because i needed to know that someone out there feels the same exact way that i do.

Well we are on out THIRD deployment so ask away lol!!!!! No one in their right mind would change places with us military wives it takes a strong woman to do what we do everyday it isn't for everyone. Be strong ladies!!! One piece of advice I always give is never expect a phone call daily or email you will be disappointed someimtes they can't get that chance, and when you do speak with him tell him no matter what that everything is fine, fall part AFTER he hangs up he can't do is job if he is worried about you.

Thanks for the words of advice . Im a real culprit in expecting a call and then obviously get dissapointed . Sometimes i check if my phone is still working ........ and yes i will stay strong so he can focus. thanks again

wow i know what you are going through. this is my first deployment. and its almost been 2 months and the first month was hell. i went out looking for a job and everything i do live live with my mom and siblings so thats a help.. but what really hurt was leaving my apartment seeing and thinking about all the times me and him had in here and everything i just cryed non stop. it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chested and everything... and the worst part is.... knowning he is gone for as long as he is.... but i will cope and stay strong for him so he isnt worryed about me freaking out over here. and stuff... anyways if you ever need to talk or anything.. i am here. i mean we are in the same boat and everything.. and good luck to you !!!

Hi Curtswifey! Congrats on getting married. I know what it's like being married, then all of a sudden your hubby leaves for iraq, same thing happened to me. You know it gets hard at times, but I just do what I can to occupy my time, the best way I can. Not too long after my husband left, I started making a scrap book. I including little things like some of our emails we wrote each other, little notes he use to leave in my car, pics, and letters I wrote telling him how much he mean to me. The thing that has gotten me this far is support from other women on this site, taking up hobbys, reading and writing my husband, along with tons of praying. It helps to have someone to talk to who is going through the same thing and understand how it is. A lot of the friends I do have really can't relate, so it's like talking foreign to them. I mean they say they understand, but they don't, they just try to be nice. I want to encourage you to hang in there and start doing anything that interest you to keep your mind occupied for a while. I took up gardening and that really helps me, because it's so relaxing to me. It doesn't take all of my feelings away, but it does help at times. <br />
If you need someone to talk to I'm here.

Im going through the same thing.. My hubby and i just got married april 1st. Small town girl.. ft. campbell is the first place outside NC that i have ever lived.. He deployed about 2 weeks ago.. Its killing me.. I just need people to talk to who are going through this.. cuz my family has NO idea how i feel. I just dont knwo what to do.. i have like 2 friends here. Thats it.. ugh its so bad. <br />
thank you for listening.. if you need to talk im here.

First deployment is the worst... its a hard thing to deal with. The separation is the worst and you have to learn to be understanding of the things they go through... always remember to stay strong for him!!! I've gone 3 weeks with out even an email from my fiance... even if he cant write you write him! remind him how much you love and support him!<br />
"God picked out some the strongest women and made them Military Wives... be proud to stand among the silent ranks!"

Yes navyfiance, I would encourage you to get a hobby, or get involved in any family army groups or programs available to you. This is what has gotten me by since my husband has been gone, along with this website, there are so many caring people here. I'm not gonna tell you, that it's gonna be easy, because you're gonna have your down days.<br />
What I have done, since my husband has been gone, was put together scrap books that entailed our pictures, some of the emails and cards he sent me. I've made care packages for him, putting all types of fun stuff in there along with goodies and took up gardening, something I thought I would never do, but you know what it is so relaxing to me. <br />
Just find something that will keep your mind occupied. I write alot also, just about how I feel and I also write poetry to my husband to help him deal with this deployment. If you live on an army base, there are several resources that cater to those who have loved ones deployed and they also have activities for those women who have spouses and/or boyfriend & girlfriends that's deployed, they all get together, this may also help you. Just try to be as strong as you can, and on those days when you can't, it's alright cry your eyes out, for tomorrow will be a better day.<br />
My husband is doing a 15month tour right now, and we have 5 more months to go, and I can't believe how fast it has gone by, but I have just tried to keep myself busy, surrounded by friends in my same situation and volunteering and like I said my gardening...lol <br />
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If you need to talk I'm here....Don't worry, you'll get through this deployment and will be amazed at how fast it went when it's time for your fiance to come home.<br />
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Tasha

Hi My names Sarah and im 17 and i have a fiance about to leave for iraq in about a month any advice?

Hi My names Sarah and im 17 and i have a fiance about to leave for iraq in about a month any advice?

I totally understand! I haven't talked to my soldier in almost a week, he is in Afghanistan and I'm going crazy! I love him so much and I'm so used to talking to him everyday even while he's been out there and now all of the sudden I haven't heard anything. It's hard and I cry every night. We gotta help each other girls!

ebsweet you hang in there, I know how you're feeling and I commend you for being strong. We will have those days where we feel really down and want our husband's home, but we are their backbone, and have to be strong for ourselves and much more for them while they are temporarily away. You can do this, and you do have the strength to get on with your daily activities. Stay strong and in prayer

Wow, i've read this story and posted on here before, but it really hits home right now. I just want to curl up in my bed and cry myself to sleep. I don't think that I can do this, but somewhere inside I'm going to have to find the strength to get up and go to work in the morning. I hate this. I hate being away from him and I just want him home.

Our husbands must have left for Iraq at the same time. It will be a month for me on Monday coming up and it's been the hardest month of my life. You HAVE to stay busy- stop thinking constantly about it and do things that keep you busy. That's the only way I'm going to get through this- concentrating on school.

Sweetheart, it's horrendous and really really worrying, but do remember that most of the blokes come home in one piece and then we wonder what we were worrying about! Fingers crossed for you and your man. It'll be ok. Thanks for gift! Alfeen x

Piglettigger, you hang in there. I'm glad you had a chance to talk to your husband for a little while. You ever try the yahoo messenger? I don't know if that's gonna be better than the myspace, but it's just an idea. That was really cruel, what his friend did, but at least you know that he is ok. Is there any type of support group there on base, or does any of the military wives get toghether with each other. I know that would help in making friends. If not why don't you take the first step in organizing something like that, I'm sure there are more wives there just like you. I know how hard it must be in making friends. It's hard for me too, because all my friends can't relate to what I'm going through. I've met some really good people on this website, and it helps me so much, talking with them. If you need to talk I'm here.<br />
Stay Blessed

Piglettigger, you hang in there. I'm glad you had a chance to talk to your husband for a little while. You ever try the yahoo messenger? I don't know if that's gonna be better than the myspace, but it's just an idea. That was really cruel, what his friend did, but at least you know that he is ok. Is there any type of support group there on base, or does any of the military wives get toghether with each other. I know that would help in making friends. If not why don't you take the first step in organizing something like that, I'm sure there are more wives there just like you. I know how hard it must be in making friends. It's hard for me too, because all my friends can't relate to what I'm going through. I've met some really good people on this website, and it helps me so much, talking with them. If you need to talk I'm here.<br />
Stay Blessed

Dyess AFB, Abilene TX

I'm sorry, I don't know anybody there. I was hoping that I did, and could help you out.

Dyess AFB, Abilene TX

Dyess AFB, Abilene TX

piglettigger, where are you at?

Well, he finally called, but it didn't start out pleasant. His friend called and played the "your husbands been hurt" card. then my husband gets on the line and ******* his friend out. Then his friends wife calls and he says he'll call me back, but I did chat with him for a bit on Myspace, but its soooo hard to chat on that system.<br />
I wish i knew how to make friends more easily. We don't have any friends out here, so its making this really hard.

Piglettigger....You hang in there. I know that you will hear from your husband soon. He probably hasn't had the chance to get to a phone yet to call you. I went through the same thing, when my husband left. You be strong for the both of you. I'm sure that's what your husband would want. Just give it a little more time, you will hear from your husband. It's ok to cry, I cry for my husband too. I just try to occupy my time as much as possible, even though it's so hard at times, but I know that I must pull myself together and go on with my day, and just anticipate hearing from him. If you need to talk or vent I'm here. Hang in there.<br />
Stay Blessed

my husband was deployed (not to iraq) because the base out here is fixing the runway the bombers he works on (back shop). They wont give us precise dates to when he'll be back. Their phones don't work and they haven't given them internet access. its been 2 weeks since we found out that he was leaving, it's been 27 hours since i talked to him and i've been crying more than ever for the past 4 days. Will it get better, if not, i'm not going to get anything done :(

my husband was deployed (not to iraq) because the base out here is fixing the runway the bombers he works on (back shop). They wont give us precise dates to when he'll be back. Their phones don't work and they haven't given them internet access. its been 2 weeks since we found out that he was leaving, it's been 27 hours since i talked to him and i've been crying more than ever for the past 4 days. Will it get better, if not, i'm not going to get anything done :(

I hate the separation. It kind of scares me that we both are growing and changing without each other. I have heard stories of couples changing so much during deployement that they weren't compatible any more when they were reunited. I don't know why this scares me because we have grown and changed with and without each other throughout high school and into our adult lives, and we still love each other and want to be together. It was really hard after he joined the military and we were doing a long distance relationship because after not seein ghim for a couple months I realized that we both were somewhat different people. It was an adjustment, but one that I am glad to have made. I just hope it goes as smooth this time.