Our First Deployment

My husband and I have been married for a little over 6 months. We have only known each other for a year but it has been the best year of my life. I am 21 years old and was married previously once to my high school sweet heart and boyfriend of 6 years for 9 months. Our marriage ended after he got 2 women pregnant. A short while later when I had completely given up the thought of love existence Jose came alone. Totally unexpected. He stole my heart and broke down all my barriers before i could protest. He sees things in me that I cant see in myself and loves me better than any man has. When I met him he was active duty Army. Actually the day we met he told me that he would be deploying in Feb 2010. At the time it didnt matter cuz i had given up on love and didnt think we would make it far. As we grew closer I feel in love with him and when he asked me to marry him there was no way i could tell him no cuz my heart screamed YES. Our marriage is great and strong and I know he is the one for me. He left Feb 1st to Afghanistan. Ever since I feel like Im missing a piece of me. I wasnt sure what to expect from a deployment. I knew it would be bad but I didnt know i would miss him so much. I think about him every sec of everyday and it kills me on days when I dont hear from him. I carry my phone with me everywhere i go. Im contanstly checking my email and waiting for IMs. I never knew how much he places a major part in my day. The simplest things like taking the dog out or taking the trash out makes me cry. Im on this site to look for ppl who can relate to what I am going through. I live in Fort Campbell KY but all my friends are civilians. I have a few army wife friends but they all have busy lives with kids and such. My civilian friends have no idea. I try to talk to them about it and they think im crazy to miss him so much. They dont understand what its like to lay awake at night wondering if your husband is ok or where he is. Wondering if the last time you told him you love him would be the last time forever. They dont understand what its like to go a year with out a touch of the man u loves hands or the kiss of his lips. This is a lot harder than what i thought. I have so many mixed emotions. One min im mad the next im sad. Im not mad at him because he is going something bigger than himself. Im proud to be his wife and even though this is not a easy task we will make it through. I would wait an enternity for him. He is worth every tear and every sec of my life. 

PfcOrtizWifey PfcOrtizWifey
18-21, F
Feb 7, 2010