I Messed Up Big Time!! Advice???Hello,
I am a 40 year old man going through, what seems to be an Inevitable, second divorce. I was married once before to a verbally abusive spouse. We divorced almost 8 years ago and had 1 child (now9). My current wife (age29) and I have been together for 6 years, married for 4. we have a daughter age 2.
We have been through alot of negative experiences in our 4 short years of marriage, including a year long court battle with my ex-wife that started right after our Honeymoon, the untimely death of my Wife's stepfather from an auto accident. The chronic illness and lack of sleep for the first year and a half of our daughters life and my bouncing several jobs because of dissatisfaction. All of this has made me a miserable person to be around, easily angry, verbally abusive. I have recently started counseling for these issues in an attempot to rid myself of this darkness I feel is surrounding me to the point where I can't be happy about anything. I WANT TO CHANGE AND ADMIT THE PROBLEM.
The Issue is That my wife has had enough. We have been seperated two times previously because of My behaivour and anger. Along with the fact that my wife is a conflict avoider. She tends to bottle things up when times are good so as "not to upset the apple cart". She says. I have said that that is exactly the time to bring things up and she has gotten a bit better.
She said that things needed to change and I agree. I am attending counseling and so is she. I suggested counseling together to work on our communication and she declines. We did attend marriage counseling once before for communication issues and It worked GREAT until we stopped going after three sessions. She seems to have her mind made up that this is it. The Last thing I want to do is go through a second divorce and Lose this amazing , supportive, normally easy going woman. Like I said, I am going to a therapist and have a Doctor appointment for possible meds to help with these issues. Any opinions out there about whether this is over or I can salvage what I've destroyed? Any opinions about how a 9 year old will handle this? (She and my wife have a great relationship)..... NEED HELP!!!!!