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Stunned

I just never thought I would be getting a divorce again and the cause of it would be my husbands Adult, acoholic son. I thought if there would be challenges it would be with my children who are in middle/high school living with us.

Nope, the son got what he wanted, his dad back. For his dad to be miserable with him.

I am hurt, dissolusioned and angry. Angry that I did know the level of my husband's codependency which included deceiving and lying to me.

The alcoholic son verbally assaulted and physically threatened me after we had only been married 4 months, I pressed charges. His family was shocked. No one had held him accountable for his behavior.

Due to the emotional trauma I sustained from this event my life has been hell the past 2 years. More deceit occured around the 2nd son and then the bomb this past Monday when I found out he had met with the acoholic son without even discussing with me how it would impact our marriage or me.

It is clear, marriage vows do not hold true......he did not cleave to me or forsake me above all others...nope, I was not even in the equation.

Blood is thicker than love.

I was hurt so badly, felt so betrayed and disrespected I asked him to leave. He did not understand that not telling me was deceitful. He had been deceitful before (co signed loan with a son without my knowledge, the son defaulted & trashed our credit). I just could not have a lifetime of this. He could not see it was wrong. Because this is how he had learned it from his acoholic dad and drug addicted ex wife. It is ok to lie and with hold information.

So after 2 years of marriage, here I am back again getting  adivorce and realizing that love is not enough. I love him with my whole heart.

Thanks for letting me ramble

Heartbroken

Angelight Angelight 46-50 3 Responses Jan 14, 2009

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I feel for you....but at least you recognized your boundaries early and stuck by them. I sometimes think the toughest thing for "women" to do is to value themselves...to see their spouse as they really are without the rose colored glasses and not to live with the constant "hope" that he'll make the changes we need to feel loved and cared for. Hang in there!

Thank you, please tell me more about your story. I was married 15 years the first time with 2 children now 12 & 14.

I think I am in total shock

I am here with you ...was together 9 years ... :(