I'm Really Not Sure How Things Are Gonna Turn Out.
I am in such an unstable position in my life right now. Im finding it hard to believe that my life will ever be anything resembling what it used to be. I went to tech school, became a programmer / analyst. Stayed in that career for 15 years. I did good, God promoted me, My jobs every time I changed were steps up. I was blessed with a Federal job, a great job, one to retire from. The only thing was I didn't fit in with the personalities. I had never dealt with this before, had always gotten along well with everyone. There were 2 older women in particular who didn't like me. They both had been there 30 years and were the queens. If they said you're out, you were out. Not a part of. I stayed and tolerated it for six years and then had some medical problems that kept me out for quite awhile. This is what they used to get rid of me. I haven't been able to get a decent job since. I have a 9 year old son, his father is absent. I have no idea where he is and don't care to. I have no family except my mother. I'm convinced she is mentally I'll. She can't do anything for herself, and I mean NOTHING. She expects me to solve all her problems, feed her, buy ALL her necessities. She expects money just about every day. If I don't give it to her, or get it for her she gets angry and treats me horribly or starts crying like a 5 yr old. If I don't have it she goes to my BF. She has a job, a car, a reasonably priced place to live. I have no job, no car, and am living in a hotel with my son. Just today she asked my 9 yr old for money, his allowance, but he spent it yesterday. The man I'm seeing is abusive and insecure, making him jealous, controlling, and possessive. I've tried to break off with him, 90% of the time he slithers back into my life because my mom needs money or pain pills from him. She throws me under the bus every time she needs something. My life is a royal mess right now. I keep praying to God to bless me with a job so my son and I can get back our independence. So far, the last 2 1/2 yrs, no such luck. I really want to just disappear once I get back on my feet. I just needed to get that off my chest. Long I know!