Army Men Cheat?

Ive known my guy for about 6 yrs and finally made it official this New Years (yayy us!)...as long as Ive known him, he has been the sweetest, most caring, understanding, and non judgemental person with me. I might have some trust issues with men because Ive been in abusive relationships and thats hard to break...but I trust my soldier. Or I think I do....



See, there is one girl friend in particular who usually has some negative things to say about my relationship. She doesnt even think of me as being in one, actually. She is always telling me that men in the army cheat because they know they can get away with it. Especially when theyre deployed. Im thinking to myself, who the hell is he gonna cheat with in Iraq?? ... but wait, there ARE women in the army too :(    It also doesnt help that I have experienced first hand these cheating army guys; I worked near Fort Dix and got hit on by A LOT of them and offered many things from these guys who were supposed to be married with families back home!

All of my insecurities with men, my first hand experiences in the past, and my friend always putting things in my head do NOT make this deployment any easier on me! I did write to my hubby and tell him what was said and how I felt...he wrote a touching email about how this is going to work and that we can do this. That he loves me and that some people are just miserable and want to see others miserable. His email did make me feel better about us, but its still tough. I love him so much and I want to trust him. I dont know why some people have to be so negative! 



What are your thoughts on army men cheating? has anyone experienced and unfaithful soldier?

 

update:
 another friend talks about the money he gets after deployment; telling me just stick with him when that money comes in bla bla bla (which I hate! bcuz its not about the money at all)...and when I mentioned moving to Korea with him, she  said something like OH YEA, I BET HE WANTS TO GO TO KOREA FOR THE WOMEN! and funny thing is that my friends dont even know him!!!

MissingMySoldier80 MissingMySoldier80
26-30, F
16 Responses Feb 28, 2010

Honey I hate to tell you I'm married to an army officer and knowing what I know now and how all his friends who are in the military, they're all a bunch a liars and cheaters and they are taught to lie professionally . The army messes with their brains and after being up deployed they get worse trust me run now while you can .

it doesn't get better after you get married and they will make promises that they will not keep because that is a lie that sex doesn't go on while deployed . It's one big place to have sex and have no consequences because everyone that you're there with is just looking for the same thing away to get laid while deployed and it doesn't affect life at home. if you can live with that you're a better person than me but to me cheating is cheating no matter when where how what happens with her be physically emotionally it's all the same thing .

Of all the military men I know I only know one that is faithful to his wife and has never cheated .

yes I will repeat that again only 1!

Hey guys well I can say my soldier telling me his leaveing the army and he gets his dates soon I've been with this guy for 2 half years yeah we had our up down and not been able to trust ......him his my everything but to all the women out there who are with an army guy stick with it's don't listen to people because it will distroy everything TRUST in ur man xxx

how do you trust an army man who lies and cheats ?

I had a army boyfriend.....believe me most of them r not trustworthy anymore!! They know they will b transferd and all the training and mental strength boosting they have got...they are using it in a bad way now....cheating upon girls....havng a new relationship at all the places they get posted....i use to hink of my guy as one of the most decent person i have ever come accross...he befooled me in a way that it took me an year to understand that i have been cheated....! At the end he married a girl his parents suggested him...!

My boyfriend is infantry in the army national gaurd ....He claims they r never with women or even drill with them....i find that very difficult to believe ...He is at camp shelby preparing for deployment on a month ....we already have trust issues and i need to know how ture this is cause i dont believe him!

You're right don't believe them because there are lots of women everywhere in the military especially when they are deployed !

Lots of women giving their opinion here so let me give a guys perspective on the matter. I'm in the Army and long story short I am going to be apart from my girlfriend for at least the next six-ten months. This decision to serve is one i made a long time ago and am happy I'm finally doing it, but the only thing that make me truly happy to be with my girlfriend (Of course it wouldnt be a sacrifice if you gave up something you didn't want right?). Just to hold her, dance with her, talk to her brings smile to my face. This is because it works for both of us and we know the other. Trust is hard to earn and harder to keep. It's also a two-way street. She is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and I have to worry about all the guys who are going to flirt her. I couldn't cheat on her even if I tried. I could tell from the beginning that this person was going to be very important to me for a very long time. It freaks guys out as well being away because every week we hear about someone in our unit who just found out his girlfriend or wife left him for another guy and I've never seen any man more destroyed than when I see this. If you truly believe it's right and you two see eye to eye than you can make it work. Good luck to all those out there in a similar situation.

I was married to a soldier for 2 years. I never thought he would cheat on me. I loved him most than words could ever describe. I thought he was the most amazing person i had ever met. Until he was on his second deployment and i got a call from him telling me he had cheating on me over my birthday and she was pregnant. I felt for a long time that he ruined my life and how i was never gonna be able to love again. yes, that type of pain never really leaves you but it also makes you stonger. Best of luck with your relationship i really do hope he is better than the soldiers i know.

I am so sorry that happened to you but unfortunately it is commonplace in the military.

I have been having major insecurities myself with my soldier especially since he just had to leave on a 21 day detail a long with a female soldier in his unit that is constantly hitting on him...my insecurities made the last few days I had to spend with bim miserable...I feel so bad now that he is gone and I can't grab him and have him hold me...I know who he is and what he is about I was just letting my past get in my present and possibly ruin my future...we all have a few insecurites but we have to look at our soldiers and trust and beilieve in them. I love mine more than anything and I know he would never do that but it didnt stop me from accusing and being a royal ***** to him...now I wish I had that time I was bitching and crying and accusing just to lay with him and let him hold me! Stay strong and as long as he hasnt given reason not to trust him...then all u can do is trust him until he gives u reason to do otherwise

my ex is in korea right now, we just broke up a few weeks ago and he is already dating an army girl (thats y he left me). he's been there the last two years and has cheated before but when he came home he admitted it so i forgave him. unfortunately it was with a prostitute at a club. i know this doesn't help much but its better to hope for the best and expect the worst.

There are men who cheat and men who don't and it doesn't matter if they are military or not. If your man has give you reason to trust him, then trust him. I KNOW mine would never cheat on me. And he knows, despite his deployment, that I would never dream of cheating on him. I understand how hard it can be not to put your past on him, but it isn't fair to him. I struggled with this, too. Then I realized how much stress that was adding to him. He's in Iraq...he doesn't need the added stress of my insecurities to worry about. So, I kept telling myself that I know who he is and why I fell for him and all the things he's done to show me his true character and I can now say I know he's a decent guy who treats me amazingly well and adores me. And that's ok. I deserve it. <br />
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As far as that 'friend' goes. You don't need that kind of friend. Seriously, life with a military man is hard enough. You don't need people who are going to constantly drag you down and make you second guess your choices.

Any cheater is all around very untrustworthy. I certainly don't want to be double dipping with a girl he may have been with & worry about what the consequences might be for me as well. If you can't trust him it will cause major complications.

my bf just enlisted a few weeks back. and we've been together just over a year... I really hope he doesnt cheat on me.

i caught mine in the act yes trust me they arnt all loyal

Military soldiers cheat all the time...there are only a few who are actually faithful...my husband was deployed from 2005 to 2007...he cheated on me with a female soldier...everybody in his battalion knew about it even the military wives knew about it and I was the last to know...unfortunately I have never recovered from this infidelity and we are now divorcing...I was told by a recruiter "what did you expect when you put men and women together for 2 years, its gonna happen"...I always thought the military took adultry seriously because it is against the UCMJ but obviously they are gonna back up their soldier...I hope the best for you and your soldier!

I know this is an old posting. I just wanted to add this message. My husband went off to Iraq in 2007. He was gone for 1 year. I stayed faithful the entire time we had been married since 2001. I had no idea, my husband was cheating on me. When he got to the US after I drove five hundred miles to pick him up in Wisconsin. He left me the next day he was released from the Army. I drove us back home to KC. He flew to CA to be with this person he met online. He did not tell me. He made arrangements with his parents so he had a ride to the airport. They drove him to the airport. My husabnd is a liar. He ruined my life forever. It is so hard to live in the same house with someone like this. I don't have anywhere else to go right now. I'm torn up about this. He has ruined me. I think about what he did to me every second of my life.

If you cannot enjoy your man, at least you can enjoy your righteous indignation.<br />
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Trust me, if you look the other way it'll come back to you 10-fold.

no im sorry but cheating is wrong, whether u plan on being mean to your girl or not. its wrong and i wouldnt stand for it. i can love my man for any other short comings...not cheating though.

Given the opportunity most men cheat, army or otherwise. Most of us manage to do it even when we spend every night at home with our wives. The good news is when a man cheats he's not doing it to be mean to his wife and most cases plan to continue to stay married to her. Love him for who he is and accept him despite any short comings he may have.