Different Role...

I am actually already an aunt. My oldest nephew will be six in november, and my second nephew will be five in two weeks.

This year, I was blessed with a third nephew in June, a niece in August and now a fourth nephew is coming in October.

I guess when you have 5 brothers and sisters, babies start popping up all of a sudden!

With the baby coming in October though, I'm playing a much different role than the one I am used to. I am getting custody of him. It is only going to be temporary, for about a year, but I am about to raise a newborn.

I am so overwhelmed, and so excited, and so nervous, and I'm scared to death, but I'm also ready. I have so much support and I am so thankful for that, but some people have been so cruel. Talking about how I won't be able to handle it when I have to give him back. How I need to try and get custody of him, how awful his parents are.

I wonder if these people realize that they are talking badly about my BROTHER. Yes, he and his girlfriend have made some terrible choices, that much is obvious considering I am only 22 and taking their baby while they are 31 and 28, but that doesn't change the fact that he is my brother. I love my siblings and I am so overprotective of them. I love my nieces and nephews in the same way.

I just wish I could cut people out of my life easier. Why is it that people have to give me all their opinions all the time? Why can't people just shut their mouths and let me do what I have to do. Right now, I am all this baby has. As far as I'm concerned, I never had a choice. I am capable of taking care of him, so I'm not letting him go anywhere else. I wish people would just understand that and stop talking crap, I can't take it anymore.

I wish I could just ignore everything everyone says and do what I have to do. I wish people would leave my brother and his girlfriend alone and realize that they deserve a chance to raise their child. I will help them, but he is still their child, he is not mine.

This turned out to be quite the rant and I really didn't intend that to happen I'm just so full of frustration.

When it comes to my five siblings, and anybody else, I pick them. Every. Single. Time.

Same with my five nieces and nephews. They come first in my life. Family comes first in my life. So talk crap about my family and you won't be a part of my life anymore. No matter how difficult that is for me to do, that's the only choice I have. I won't tolerate it anymore.

So I wish there was a word for nieces and nephews (like cousins) so I didn't always have to say both. But I love my nephews, and I love my niece and I can't wait to be an auntie for the 5th time over, even if this time I am playing a much more significant role in his life.

Auntie loves all of you more than you know, and I will defend you and fight for you all your lives no matter what.
mandi2590 mandi2590
22-25, F
25 Responses Sep 21, 2012

You are the female version of me when it comes to you're rights. I fight for mine with that same determination and will. Im glad people like you exist. You may very well bring tears to my eyes when you get your dream. Your awesome!

So did you adopt that your niece/nephew for one year? You seem to be a relly nice person! Good luck! God bless you!

Due date came and went and still no baby. Should be here this week sometime. I'm getting more and more excited and just want to meet my sweet nephew!

Mandi,
a child in our life is always a blessing, doens't matter how it happen. You made your choice to take care of this baby, as you said; why are you worried about what people say or not? It doesnt matter at all, right?
I guess, deep inside you, you are still not sure about your decision, or maybe questioning what the society has to say about? it doenst matter at all again.
Just love...this baby, your family, and also this society that is criticizing you...for some reason that you are not even concious about...give your love with gratitude for this moment and possibility and all will be clear and great.
Peace on you!

Caring about what people are saying has nothing to do with my being sure about my decision. It has to do with the fact that these are people that are supposed to be my friends and I have a certain expectation of support from them, so when I'm not getting it I do find it hurtful. If it was just random members of society criticizing I wouldn't care, it's just the fact that it's people who I thought cared about me and I'm finding out who really does support me and my decisions. but like I said in my original post, I'm not tolerating it anymore.
But yes, he is a blessing and thank you for your advice.

Again I just want to say thank you to everyone for all the support. It means the world to me, it's definitely helped me to move past all the criticism and focus on what is important.

I also wanted to address madtiger293 and just inform everybody else that yes I have a lot of support in this, I am so grateful for not only the words of encouragement I receive on here, but for the support I have within my life.

I have a very loving fiance, we have been together for 4.5 years and are getting married this coming June. He has been incredibly amazing throughout all of this. I couldn't ask for a better person to spend my life with and with the way he is handling everything right now, I am even more sure that he will be an incredible father.
I also have my mother supporting me, she is going to take a month off work when the baby is born so that she can help me during the days.
I do have other friends and family that have been very supportive but those are the two that have really been my biggest supporters and I couldn't do all this without them.

In addition to moral support, people have been so generous. A friend of mine gave me a crib which I couldn't have been more thrilled about. My sister passed down a bunch of stuff from the almost 5 year old nephew, and my fiance's boss gave us a credit at a resale baby store and we were able to buy an awesome changing table/dresser with that credit as well as a bunch of other things we need. In addition to all that we have been given bins upon bins of clothes sizes newborn to 4t! We really aren't missing much (until the baby gets here and I think of all these things I didn't think of before!!)

I just wanted to say thank you again to everybody for all their positive comments, kind words, and endless support.

Baby is due one week from today!

Mandy I am sure that you are feeling warmed by all the support on this page. It is wonderful that so many people are reaching out to you with love. You sound very determined with what you have chosen to do in this situation and will surely be able to meet the challenges that your new role will bring. May I ask what support you have in your life? Do you have a partner, close friends, other family who can help out? A church or neighbourhood community? You are going to need some help at some stage and perhaps you could start looking around to see who will be there for you. The EP community can provide this type of support on the page, but you will need more than that. Bless you, you sound like a wonderful, warm person. I look forward to hearing an update on your story in the future!

You are doing a wonderful thing. Yes it probably will difficult to give the child back. That does not mean that you should not do it. It just says that you are a great person that can be relied on. Your family is very lucky to have you! You will always have a very special relationship with your brother and his family. Having a newborn in your life is a challenging and wonderful experience. You are a beautiful person.

You are doing a wonderful thing. Yes it probably will difficult to give the child back. That does not mean that you should not do it. It just says that you are a great person that can be relied on. Your family is very lucky to have you! You will always have a very special relationship with your brother and his family. Having a newborn in your life is a challenging and wonderful experience. You are a beautiful person.

i love it

Don't let people get you down!
I don't know you , but from the bottom of my heart "I'm proud of you"
There should be more in the world like you.

You should be proud of yourself and how you are adapting to adversity. Bravo on you. You will never be alone, because your spirit is one that attracts love. God Bless.

Dear Mandi2590, rant away and get it out of your system!
Listen sweet lady, I am a much older aunt who could never have even thought of doing what you are going to do, let alone have been able to do it, so reading this has made me so pleased for your nephew, to know she has such a strong, capable ,loving and loyal aunt. Being half your age, and more, I am in awe of such courage, and I wish you all the best, and trust you'll enjoy the wonderful experience ahead.....

Don't listen to peoples, what's you love to do and feels happy yourself and your family go for it.

Don't listen to peoples, what's you love to do and feels happy yourself and your family go for it.

You are doing a wonderful thing and showing more maturity than some people twice your age. Absolutely do not let negative people bring you down to their level. Ignore them and follow your (wise) heart.

Amen to what you said. Family always comes first, good or bad. You are to be commended and I hope you and your siblings are blessed by your nephew's birth.

Thank you everyone so much for your kind words and support. It seriously means so much when I feel like I don't have any strength left to read these words and know that I am doing the right thing and that when he gets here I will be able to love and support him in every way.

Yes my brother and his girlfriend are in jail, they have made a lot of bad decisions but this is their first kid and I'm hoping he will change his lives. And if he can't, I hope they love him enough to let him go. I'm just taking it all in stride, one day at a time.

Baby still isn't here yet but he's due in 12 days. So really he could be here any time.

I don't know what will happen after the first year, I'm hoping to God that they can straighten up and clean up their lives and raise there son and I will support them if that is the direction they take. I think they both deserve the chance to be parents and I hope that this tiny life can change theirs. If it doesn't, I will be there for him. If they can't straighten up for him, I will fight for him. I will always always fight in his best interests because if his parents aren't doing it, who else will be?

It's crazy that this is happening, it's crazy to wonder how it will all turn out, but like I said before, I'm taking it one day at a time.

I really just wanted to say I so appreciate the support, it really means more than any of you know. I'm sure in a couple weeks when I'm sleep deprived and wondering if I can do this I'll log on and read your words and be able to get through everything. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for all the support I've been given in my life, so I thank each and every one of you for being a part of my support system. =]

You are great! And you will do great! Of course you have to help your brother. I would do anything for my family, because they are more important to me than even myself. My brother does all kinds of strange things, and we've been always supporting him (obviously only in right choices and decisions). Don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise. It's not going to be easy with the baby - I have 3 kids, so I know it can be tough at times. But it definitely will be very rewarding and one day that baby will think you are the very best aunt in the entire world! And he will be right :). All the best wishes to you!

Good for you!!! and yes it will be hard to give the baby back after a year but I am sure they won't cut you out of their lives and you will always be extremely important to that child. I have been a foster parent for over 20 years and have seen so much and I am very proud that YOU are willing to take this baby and give it some stability and love. We all make bad choices in our lives some just make worse but I feel if we can help people through them and make them better people or give them a break when it is needed then who are we to judge them and their choices. If the child is in danger or something extreme then that is a different matter and I strongly believe that family and love is the most important thing that their is. I would do exactly the same thing!!! It is a great responsilbility and you are so young but just listening to you tells me that you have it together and that child is very lucky to have you and the support you have. The world needs more people like you who get involved and not judge.

You are a wonderful person :) I would do the same as you, If I was able to. Let what people say, fall to the wayside and continue your awesome ways. If you ever need advice on newborns, send me a message and I will gladly help!! I have 2 children and they are my life. Family will always comes first no matter what others may say or think. They are all we have.

I thought the same, jail and drugs. Not my business, but I'm thinking it might be best in that case if the baby stays with you for a longer period. In any case, good for you: the baby's interest comes first and you're a great person for doing this. Don't let anyone question you.

You will do great as the new mommy! If you don't mind sharing, why are you having to raise this child? What made your brother and his girl lose custody? That may be something you need to be thinking about. If it is drugs, you may be caring for this baby a lot longer than a year.

I think what you are doing is great. I don't know what all is going on with your nephew's parents but people can make destructive choices at one point in their lives and come out of it to be better and wiser because of the troubled times. It is a great gift you are giving them and your nephew to care for him during his first year. I am a Public Health Nurse and I know that the first year is a time of incredible learning for babies. You love the heck out of that baby and it will be a gift that will last his whole life. Hopefully his folks will have a chance to love on him too. Seeing that beautiful baby will help them do what they need to do too. Stay strong, don't let those other folks get you down.

I raised my brothers after my Mom had a stroke at 32. Stop talking about it, it is your personal decision. And tell people its' personal. And not open for discussion. Done. Adult skill 1 personal, not discussing. Book how to be an adult.

Hi Mandy, u r a very caring person and i will not judge anyone but i feel u need 2 think about what will happen in a years time.
u will bond with that child and he with u, then u will have 2 give him up after a year.
i could never do that, it would tear me up inside.
I fear the same will happen 2 u.
just think about it and if u do go ahead then try to prepare yourself for that day as i would hate to see one as caring as you get hurt.
A very big desision has to be made and i will pray for you.
Ivan.