so my mom and i have always had a good relationship.. ofcourse we always get into our fights but ever since my boyfriend has been gone for bootcamp its like we argue more... and i think him being away has soemthing to do with it because im use to just always beeing with him or whenever im upset about something ill just go be by him and i cant do that and i dont want to talk to him about my problems over letters because i dont want him worrying.. its hard because hes my best friend and i just wish i could talk to him atleast on the phone.. i feel like a ticking time bomb about everything now.... wheather its being mad and just saying everything instead of holding back or when im sad and holding it back then about a day later alll my tears will come out over anyything.. im trying to stay as strong as i can for him and i know itll get better but its just really hard not being able to have him HERE when i really need him and just want to hold him.. i just sent out my first couple oof letters to him yesterday morning so maybe when i read his first letter than ill feel a little better ? ive been trying to use the gym and running as a get away just so i dont explode on my family...butttttt me and my mom got into a fight today and she told me i couldnt use her car for awhile which means no gym, which means no get away..... school, the gym, this website, and practice are about the only things keeping me busy and things off my mind.. but school and practice dont always help because most of my friends dont fully understand my situation of my boyfriend being gone, and right now im trying to take classes for cosmetology while im still in my senior year and thats been kepping me really busy but also really stressed..... 

i just needed to get everything off my chest, this website is literally the only thing that has helped me becuase allll of you are going through the same experience so its easier for you girls to understand.... im not really asking any specific questions but any advice would be appriciated <3 

OoRahBaby OoRahBaby
18-21, F
8 Responses Sep 22, 2010

I just realized the date of this post...I hope everything has worked out well =)

Omg I completely understand everything you just talked about. Trust me no matter what anyone tells you, you are intitled to the feelings you are experiencing, most ppl just don't understand. I'm glad we can at least help you in some shape way or form. <br />
It sounds like you are just overwhelmed, you are learning how to live a new life i guess you could say. It's not easy but it will get better and you two learn to overcome these obstacles. Yes there will be bad days I won't lie but when you get to talk with him and see him you're face will light up like there's no tomorrow and it will be all worth it. Family sometimes, like friends don't comprehend what we are going through and at times when we want to simply be left alone they butt in and make us feel worse which results in a blowout. It's happened to me and afterwords i just feel horrible all around. What maybe you can do is sit down with your mom and although she might not understand fully where you are coming from just let her know that you are on edge right now and that you don't mean to be so testy lately. If that isn't possible or you simply don't think it will help, I found that letting it all out either on this site or in a journal (depending on the privacy required) helps, plus you are doing the right thing by trying to keep as busy as you can. It sucks that you can't use the car for some time now but once that period is over go on with your plan. As for now try and just going out for a walk or a run. I started running every night with a friend and let me tell you it has actually helped me more than i thought it would. It's so nice because you feel like you can disconnect yourself from your worries if only for a hr or so. Think of your mind as a computer, sometimes you need to shut it down, let it rest and cool down for it to resume working properly and at it's full potential. I know you will overcome all of this and you will be stronger for it, not only for him but for yourself also. If you need anything feel free to ask me, I don't mind helping out when/if I can. Stay strong, you can do this, we're all doing it together don't forget that. <3

same with me, the first two weeks was really hard but this past week is getting better. every now and then itll jsut hit me that hes reallly gone and i cant see him until december, i can talk to him on the phone, i cant wait for those goodnight calls anymore.. like it drives me insane and i just wana scream but i hold it together, usually the worst that happens is me getting really irritable. and ive also gotten 3 letters so far and they were all in like 2 1/2 weeks time so me not getting a letter this weeek is a huge bummer.. like when im at school and im excited to leave justtt so i can go look in the mailbox and theres nothing there, it kinda sucks and i start over thnking things too much like what if he didnt get my letters and so he thinks im ignoring him so now he doesnt wana write me... i just think about it all too much. its juat hard to get use to not being able to ge atleast ONE letter a week let alone him being away for 3 months.. we just have to be patient.. but your right, as long as theyre okay, healthy and getting thier sleep.<br />
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but i can also tell that ive matured so much jsut in the time that hes been gone, i can just tell myself. but im doing it not only for myself but to prepare myslef for when he comes home, when im out of school and when were on our own :) i really hate schhool just because of all the immature/obnoxious people in but im been focusing soo much more on my work and my grades are better then ive had before. it seems like i spend alot of time at home now since hes been gone but atlest i keep myself occupied and its hard to just go ou and talk to m y girlfriends about all of this cuz they just ddont understand so i vent on here.. :) lol

i just commented on yor other post too. <br />
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like i said in the last one, my parents HATE andrew. we fight over EVRYTHING having to do with andrew, i go out too much, im innapropraite, ever since andrew left, well even before. i HATE being in my house. its such a negative place to be when im trying to get used to andrew not being here to talk me through my anger and frustration with my parents.. ive been writing to him since the second i got home from dropping him off at the RSS office. i have to or else i cant sleep, its like my therapy, even if i have something bad happen to me, i always end my letters with somehting cheery so that he knows my situation and can help me through it but also knows that im ok. i've only gotten 3 letters so far and theyre from his first week in MRCD San Diego cuz the mail is so far behind but it helps just knowing that i've shared everything with him. one of very few requests before he left was that i do share EVERYTHING, i wish he could do the same but i understand he is getting used to the marine lifestyle and still doesnt have time management down. lol not to mention im sure the second he gets free time he uses it to sleep, but thats fine by me as long as i know he's ok and my letters reassure me that he is. (:<br />
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im doing SO much better this week than last two weeks! i honestly feel alright now. i think its cuz i got his letters and im not so worried about him anymore but my attitude has changed a lot. ive had to grow up so much with him not being here to do everything for me that at first i was stressing and now im getting used to it and while theres still a little pull in my chest, i dont cry because of every little thing. i mean i still cant watcha chick flick or a horror movie but im getting there(: <br />
honestly, even if you dont want to send the negative letters, write them! so that at least you THINK your talking to him. it helps me SO much to just sit and write!

opps this was along time ago haha but anyway you can still text me haha

when you get your first letter it will get ALOT better i promise the same thing happened to me to with my family and everything and the only place i got to go to was school,and that just makes everything worse for me! the other day one of my friends said something and it made me break down for no reason because i had been trying to hold it in for so long.but my boyfriends sister called me yesturday and i got her to agree to go to a concert with me this saturday!!! ahhh i am sooo exited!!! haha! :)))) and i have no one to talk to eather about every thing that is happening and all i want to do is talk to him but i cant cuzz then he would worry about me sooo if you ever want to talk you can message me or text me:)))))

thanks girll :) you seem like your in all of the same situations im in and know what to do:)<br />
and yea i got his first letter today and i can alrdy tell things will get better, hes been gone about 2 1/2 weeks and ive written him a couple letters then saved them all and sent them a couple days ago.. i really thought writing things down on paper would make me feel better especially since its going to him but it just got harder ever since i wrote a letter because i didnt have his address and i was like running out of things to say, it was like i was talking to him and saying everything i could and there was no response but now we can actually start conversating and im so exciteddd :) he said he might not have alot of free time though because its just the begginging of boot camp. but look me up on facebook(Anjhelika S. Zertuche), and ill add you :) thanks fro being there to talk to! :)

girl, i totally understand that! i'm so used to always having my boy to talk to when i'm having a bad day. or just in general. he's been my best friend for like 4 years (boyfriend for a little over 2 and a half years) so its so weird/hard not being able to have him to talk to. and i dont trust anyone as much as i trust him. but no way do i want to write anything negative in letters to him, i dont want him to worry about me at all. <br />
with everyone else i'm used to holding everything in but i always have him to tell. and now that i dont, its just like i'm holding everything in and i know its not good but what else can i do? just the littlest things will irritate me now and i get mad/upset at anything and i'll practically break down. (but whenever i feel like i'm about to break down, i'll read his letters)<br />
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and omg. as soon as you read that first letter...even as soon as you see the envelope...everything wil feel better. adn you'll be so incredibly happy. i damn near cried when i got my first letter from him, just seeing his handwriting on the envelope. i've read all the letters i've got from him like 100times :p it really will help more than you know. its the best feeling ever, getting a letter <3<br />
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and just so you know...i'm always here for ya if you need/want someone to talk to. you can talk to me on here, email, or you can add me on facebook or myspace :) i totally understand what you're going through girl. <br />
just stay strong.and try to keep positive. maybe try to find other things you can do, as a get away, since you cant use your mom's car to go to the gym. anything-writing,running,walking around town,hanging out with friends more. whatever you can think of. <br />
this website is amazing. i'm SOO glad i found it :) it helps alot knowing you girls all understand.<br />
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how long has your boy been in bootcamp? mine is halfway through, and i can tell you this: it gets easier/better. especially once you get that first letter :) <br />
anyways like i said, just message me if you ever need someone to talk to, or need advice, or have any questions. i'll always reply back ASAP and help out as much as i can hun <3<br />
semper fi