Who Was That Person?

I stumbled on EP about 8 months ago when I was researching sexless marriages and therapy.  The very first story that I posted was about how lonely I was and I was determined to find happiness somehow, someway in my marriage.  Funny thing is while I was writing the story, my head was already telling me that my marriage was over.  But if you read the story, it was clear that I was still very much in love with my husband.  Then more posts were written describing the angst I felt about my decision to file for divorce and its effects it's had on my daughter. 

After one excruciatingly painful episode with my soon to be EX....I sat in front of my computer and re-read my earlier posts.  In reading them, I had no idea who the woman was that wrote all of that.  I couldn't stand her.  How can you possibly be that in love with someone who hasn't loved you back in years?  Then I continued to read about all the pain and disappointment.  Writing and posting the story served it's purpose, I deleted all of my earlier posts.  I didn't want any reminders or evidence of the person I was in that stage of my life.  I didn't want to look at her anymore. 

Only if in real life, we could just hit a delete button to rid of all that pains us. 

deleted deleted
26-30
2 Responses Feb 2, 2010

Ha! You're lame. Delete every internet account you've ever made. Stand up, walk outside and just live man.

I'm sorry for the painful period that has led to your difficult decision. I truly resonate with the part about loving someone who hasn't loved you back in years. I am sorry to hear that you wouldn't keep those posts around. Your memoir will suffer as a result, should you choose to write it one day. :-)<br />
I don't mean to joke. I'm glad you're getting over the pain, if that's what you're doing in deleting the posts... moving on that is. I'm not sure I'd delete them, because I still need some of mine for bitterness's sake perhaps. I wish that wasn't true. I don't like how that sounds.<br />
All the best to you. Take care of yourself, and your daughter too. Peace.