I say that I want to keep my life in order, that I am happy with how things are, and honestly, I believe that. My life is better now than it has been in a very long time. Since I am sooooooooo very good at self-defeating behavior, however, I am considering some activities that could ruin the life I say that I want. I have had an online sex life to varying degrees for quite some time. It waxes and wanes.....and seems to be waxing again, much to my surprise at this point.....shouldn't be a surprise I guess. I anyone else struggling with this?