Suicide Survey

What would be your prefered method?
Opiate Overdose. Exsanguination by wrists if not.

Have you attempted it before?
Many times. 3 Od's, 2 exsanguination attemps, and 1 bashing of the trachea

What would your family say if they knew how much you think about it?
They know, they just don't think I have it in me to do it.

What would they say after your death?
My mother would be sad, it would hurt her because she would think she could have done something to help me. My dad wouldn't be any different. I think he would be hurt though. My step dad would be devastated, he always saw the best in me. A***** would feel vindicated. (my brothers and sisters) would be hurt, but get over it. K*** I think would be the most hurt by my passing, but I don't think she realizes how much right now. Everyone else in my life has already left me, showing their ultimate disapproval of my being here.

If there was a medication you could take to make the feelings go away, would you take it?
Tried it, it doesn't work. Wont try anymore.

Have you ever/would you ever see a psychiatrist/Psychologist/counselor about these feelings?
I have, it doesn't help. Again, wont try it anymore.

If someone else you knew had these feelings, would you turn them in?
I do know someone, and of course not. The result is far worse than the current situation.

If you could have something put on your tombstone, what would it be?
My chosen name rather than my born name.

What do you believe is waiting for you after death?
The soft velvety comfort of the abyss.

And finally, if you could have anyone with you at the end, who would it be, and what would you say/have them say?
I would want A***** there. And, in the last words she gave me in an infamous late night phone call, i would say "I hate you, I love you, goodbye." I would have her cry, speechlessly.

~made by me
nephandai nephandai
26-30, M
May 17, 2012