My Life Is Fine. I Just Hate Society

Hi. i'll try to keep this fairly simple. My name is Evan, i'm 15 and live in a ****** small town in California. after i decided to kill myself, every single person and thing i encountered just reaffirmed my goal of dying. There isn't 1 person in my life who i feel is actually worth staying here for-- not to say there aren't people who 'love me' in my life, there are plenty of those, but nobody who acts like a sensible human being that truly listens to their soul. My dad left my sister and i when we were young and we both live with our mom. she's probably the main reason i'm going to do it. she's not horrible or anything, in fact compared to most moms shes amazing, but most moms aren't mentally competent enough to raise children (in my opinion 99 out of 100) and just because i might be in a less ****** position than someone else doesn't mean that i'm going to feel better about my still-****** position. My mom expects me to get a job and a car and a house and be part of society, regardless of my well being, and i mainly want to kill myself because A.)our society is so ****** up and makes me hate my life B.) reality has never given me a reason to find purpose in it, neither has life (not to say that i didn't enjoy these things while they lasted, but i find them pointless) and C.) my mom truly deserves to experience the pain of her only son killing himself. I also feel like i have always had bad luck in the romance department, or no luck at all, and i'm sure a lot of people that are writing on here have had a similar experience. In My opinion, in this society, a lot more people should kill themselves-- if a big portion of our population off'd themselves maybe people would finally ******* stop and say, "what's going on?"
LiveHuman LiveHuman
18-21
1 Response Jan 5, 2013

So...I totally agree with the whole society thing. The world we live in is probably at its very worst, and its unfair that those who have good heads on their shoulders have to deal with that. But that is the whole beauty of it isn't it? At the end of our lives,we're going to be able to look back and laugh at the fact we made it through. We can sift through all the mud to find that diamond because it does exist. Instead of killing yourself,tell yourself that you can do it. When you hit 18,if you're not already,get a job,save money and just move away. Your life is what you make of it,you can literally bend reality with your mind if you try hard enough,so see society as something you wanna try and make a change to. The smallest thing effects the entire future :)