Life's A Masquerade...

...with everyone wearing masks, deceiving one another: happy faces, sad faces, interested faces. More importantly it seems people lie to themselves, in a pathetic attempt to make sense of a chaotic and unfriendly world. The latest fads and fashions, gossip, movies, everything is a distraction from the darkness. Life has no meaning. We all live in a web of lies created to cushion us. Went on a trip up a mountain, family said "isn't it beautiful", I think of Estragon in the second act in Waiting for Godot:

"You and your landscapes! Tell me about the worms!"

Tell me some truth! Tell me about your darkness, about your inner demons, don't lie to me, saying "what a nice day it is!" Don't smile at me and ask how my day went, feigning interest, expecting only to blabber about your own concerns after I finish (if you don't interrupt first). Don't complain about the prime minister and his hookers and play up your own righteousness. Don't talk to me about the landscape while you gulp your Starbucks. Tell me about the worms! Everything you believe is a lie. Is that controversial enough? Maybe if you let it consume you like a cancer, eating at your soul from dusk til dawn, distracting you from your surroundings, eluding your attempts at ignoring or forgetting, making a mockery of you in front of your friends and family, cutting you off from your loved ones. Robbing you of any emotion. Leaving you hopeless, standing alone, feeling like a very tired and fed up Atlas. Don't worry, a personality disorder is a prerequisite for preoccupation with such thoughts. Just thought I'd offer a glimpse into the chaotic world of an anhedone, of a dysthymic, of a BPD, of a paranoid social idiot. Yeah, sympathy! Pathos! Give it to me!

Have a good day, and don't forget the worms (they won't forget you)!
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2 Responses Aug 12, 2010

Borderline personality disorder seems like a sad and scary condition yet refreshing in a way. Lacking the need for approval and self satisfaction must help in expressing one's opinions without the need of disguise or exaggeration.<br />
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Although it must suck not being able to enjoy really ******* people off. lol

I feel ya people live deep in a cocoon of the false. <br />
Great writers philosophers and leaders have made the same lament over and over again across time. hell if one reads the bible with an honest open the most of the new Testament screams the <br />
same sentiment. Especially that Jesus guy man did he have problems LOL. <br />
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BTW I was listening to rap while reading your post and it fit perfectly into a hip hop beat.